ÇaNñΦt DéSçRiBè HöW mUçH i ÄçTûAiLÿ LûV û....MiSs|ñG û 365¼ DaÈs

2006-09-01T02:08:00.000-07:00

wah.. so long nv blog le.. lolx.. i tink got one whole semester already.. finally i am here again, well.. maybe too busy to look around this kind of things.. haha.. todae bought a new keyboard=D 75 dollars.. saitek eclipse keyboard=DDD finally, i can put my hard earned money to some use.. lol! i onli spend on average 2-5 dollars a dae for almost 2 months, and now finally exams are over and i tink there are somethings i need to buy, todae is the start of my real holidaes.. i hope there is no need to take supp papers =P hahaha... fingers crossed=x.. todae so many things to do, ting ting they all ask me to chen laoshi's hse for dinner, as todae is teacher's dae, sry i didnt make it, cause my mother also go and eat wif her friends at another place... then somemore i wanted to play basketball=) but i actually regret tt i made tt decision cause there was v little ppl playing =( but still quite ok la, almost fall down =x jus so happy that exams are over finally cause i need this rest alot alot.. however i am waiting for ur chalet now=D hahaha.. the person shuld noe who she is..=D

Omg... todae is the dae

2005-09-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

Hahahahahaha.. omg... todae is the dae.. the dae tt decides whether i will be able to make it into the course tt i wan.... but dae which will decide whether i am going thru heaven or hell the next semester... lolx... todae.. the worse of all.. MATHS.. omg... i was nv good in maths.. wad am i going to do.. i feel so guilty.. maybe i shuld be studying my maths instead of blogging here.. but once again.. exams is at 2.30pm.. and the time now is 9.35am... does who noe me shuld wonder y am i awake so early...( there can onli be 2 reasons y i am up so early.. 1. i got an appointment and i set my alarm clock so i can be punctual when i meet tt person, 2. i did nt slp at all... lolx.. so there is no waking up or anything.. cause i didnt slp thru the nite.... 3. so idiot call my hse and wakes me up...) other than tt... i dun tink u will see me waking up earlier then 9.30 by MYSELF... LOLX... well.. how long does it take to blog.. lolx.. for me.... such a long entry onli takes me 25 mins.. or abt there.. lolx.. cause i had already planned wad i wanted to sae.. LOLX.. it jus comes out like tt.. i noe my english sux. and most of u guys have a hard time reading it..(cause i dun check wad i type... i jus read out wad i wan to sae from my heart and type...btw.. who checks wad he types in a blog -_-"".. or maybe perharps i am jus plain lazy) well.. to be exact.. i also nt so guai to wake up on my own one lahz... hahahahahahahahahaha...... i had a weird dream...i dreamt tt i was at fscc playing basketball.. then suddenly chun feng and fred pass by and saw me play.. so they joined in also.. then suddenly.. the whole group.. francis, zeyi, wenhui, and so on.. come... but i dun reali remeber them.. i onli remember a few guys... (apparently... there are onli guys... no gals.. nt even one.. nt now.. maybe later on...) i onli remember adam, francis, chunfeng, jeremy.. lolx... cause they were playing basket ball wif me... then we were all tired.. dunno y suddenly become so hot... hahahhahaa... so they slack in the badminton court... then i saw someone keep walking along outside fscc... i dunno who... and i climb the flagpole to hav a clearer view... (like i can climb like tt -_-"") it was eileen.. in SPRINGFIELD uniform.. wif lizzie and sara(i tink cause u 3 are always together ba...) lolx.... then here comes the funnie part.. lolx... mrs liew comes along............. ask me to come down.. and scolded me tt wad happens if i fall down.... then she was carrying 2 children.. one boy and one girl.. (i reali hope this comes true... but i tot onli boy onli???!!) after tt... we all lined up like small kids from nusery... hahahahahaha.. holding hands... then follow mrs liew back to somewhere... but the problem was nt tt... my mind was on something else... i was wondering y things are so odd.. lolx... and when we walk pass the 3 of them... eileen waved her hand in front of my face and i woke up...lolx...2 reasons y i wake up ba... (1.high tide... 2.found out tt this is a dream.. cause its too fake to become reality...) i hope u understand wad i mean... i dun tink any of this will happen... especially the final part... well.. hope so.. maybe i am guilty deep down in my heart tt i am actually doing this to somebody...

Exams are coming again!

2005-08-29T09:07:00.000-07:00

Oh no!!!! exams are coming again.. omg... todae is mondae.. first dae of my study week... well.. i maybe here saeing this.. but wif an blink of the eye.. its going to be over v soon.. this time.. the exams are kinda of like our mid year in secondary school.. BUT ITS GOT THE WEIGHTAGE OF THE FINAL EXAM! can u imagine tt?? 60%.. wa... and one discouraging news... i failed digital fundamentals... dang.... hiaz.. sad..6/20.. my first failure in semester one.. hope there is nt going to be anymore.. CAUSE.. wad is left is my main papers!!! well... jia you everyone for their exams! cailing, maurice, huiting, saraphina, elizebeth, bao, jerome, shuting, yvonne, dun jiu, wenhui, seng guan, and everyone i noe!... jia you wor!!!!!!!!1

Home alone dae 2

2005-08-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

Home alone dae 2... arrrrrrr... i am going crazy at home.. have weird slping hours and imaginating stupid things.. thx to tt stupid chinese show yesterdae... i cannot slp....somemore... these 2 daes.. the house is so quiet... wa... the show was abt ppl putting animal DNA in human food... then when the ppl consume the food.. and they go to slp.. they will slpwalk as the animal.. like for example... the person who has eaten the food containing cheetah's DNA... the person will slpwalk like a cheetah... hunting for wildlife and eat... the disgusting part is... u eat like a wild animal... no cooking.. jus bite straight from the live stock and so on... in the end.. one of the main character also go and eat her cat..(onli she dont noe abt it)... disgusting rite? and the main character is a person who sets up a research centre.. something like x files u noe.. lolx... so he goes along investigating abt this... then there is this mysterious guy who funds the research centre.. and guess wad is the ending... the mysterious guy was sitting calmly in the restaurant eating raw meat.. OMG.... can u believe this?? after i saw the ending.. i seriously cant slp.. cause i keep tinking abt the show.. wad will happen if i fall asleep.. and become like tt... OMG.. tink abt it..lolx... rampage... and nobody at home somemore.. nobody to stop me or anything.. lolx... so i jus keep opening my eyes.. until abt 7am.. then i finally felt so tired tt i fall asleep.. lame rite.. lolx... todae also... go and eat supper wif maurice jus now at 1am.. lolx.. haven eat dinner ma.. hehehe... then after tt we all go our seperate ways already.. then found out tt i left my keys back there at the table.. omg.. lucky........... its so late tt nobody bothers to clear the table.. and my key is still there... IF NT... I WILL BE STUCK OUTSIDE MY HSE WIF MY AIR CON AND COMPUTER ON FOR NTH... nobody's at home to open tt dang door for me... secondly... when i was walking... alone the passage way home.. the lights fade out as i walk pass it... err... quite concidential rite? lolx... 7th month lehz.. dun play play.. lolx.. i quicken my step until the lift... hahaha... dun play play.. this kinda of thing better be safe then sry.. LOLX... make me cannot slp for 2 daes... now DOTA until 6.20am.. going to slp le.. hahaha.. i feel so naughty... skipping maths tutorial.. hahaha... tml got sch at 12pm... 6 more hrs of slp.. bye bye!

Tribute to all the women i noe

2005-08-25T06:26:00.000-07:00

Tribute to all the women i noe

So amazing how this world was made
I wonder if GOD is a woman
The gift of life astounds me to this day
I give it up for the woman
She's the constant wind that fills my sail
Ohhhhhh that woman
With her smile and her style,my
She'll protect like a child
That's a woman
She'll put a smile upon yah face
And take you to that (ah) higher place
So don't you under estimate
The strength of a woman
Woke up this morning
I got up with the scent of a woman
Jus picture if you could what life would be
Ain't much good without a woman
She can nag and be a constant pain
Ohhhh that woman
But those hips she's got me whipped
And it's just to hard to resist
What a woman
Tender lips that's so so sweet
Gentle words she softly speaks
Such an angel when we need
GOD bless the ground beneath her feet
She can take you on a high
Be your comfort when you cry
But if you look into her eyes
You'll see the strength of a woman
Strength of a woman

Exams are coming!!!

2005-08-23T07:44:00.000-07:00

Wow... exams are coming.. this week is project week and pratical week.. hahaha...(the school plans it this way so tt students dun absent themselves during the last week of school) muz study hard already.. todae is my last dae of slacking.. so here i am blogging the last time.. TILL THE EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!... hahahaha... nth to rite also.. so sian... well i am quite proud of myself todae...^_^ hehehe... my internet and computer fundamentals got 25/30... hehehehe.. my ckt quiz got 46/50... hehehehehe.... but one thing i still cant get over it... Ouyang tt shithead... he jus anyhow do... got higher than me... waaaaaaaaaaaaaa.... while i put in so much effort inside... i placed the nudging text and scrolling mouse... songs tt u see at my blog.. i fixed them for about one whole dae... and yet ouyang complete his pages jus in one dae... perharps maybe he got a video and i dun hav it.. tt's y his higher then me.. sad case.. sobs ="( (but nvm.. the difference is onli one mark... lolx... but i still cant take it!!! argh!! jus let me complain!!!!b4 i go crazy) well.. first of all.. i am all alone now... in my life once.. i got 3 great friends... one is currently studying.. i dun blame her... studies always come first... the second one is gone wif the wind... in a relationship and dun care abt her friends anymore... tt one is already dead in my heart.... reali hope i wont see her again... and the third one.. within my grasp... nv talk nv see... i am jus an extra... jus for tt moment when she needed me.. we talked like there was no tomorrow.. anything and everything under the sun.. but ever since poly started... our conversations jus dun last.. nt even for 5 mins... i seriously tell u... sometimes i get so turned off and angry tt u close the conversation when i am talking to u.. jus like rite now... tt's is one of the reasons i loathe talking to u recently.. 1. u dun respect wad i am trying to sae to u....2. u are nt listening to wad i am trying to tell u.... 3. wad i sae can be lost in the process.. in the end.. i also dunno whether u noe wad i am talking.. nv reply one... so disappointed... i tot i hav found someone to reali pour my troubles to... but its over... somethings are better nt to be told... things are to be kept best to urself.. once u tell one... the word wil spread... no matter how trustworthy ur friends are... its nt ur friends who tell the word... (jerome.. i bet tt u muz be complaining or trying to picture ur self under the 3 ppl.. lolx.. pray hard then.. u will nv guess who they are.. seriously.. i regretted giving u the address) DISAPPOINTEDDDD!!!!!!!! hiaz... so... from now on.. maybe keeping everything to myself will solve the problems.. need no friends... jus walk alone to pursue ur dreams... anyway.. they seem to make use of me... every single one of them.... jus like tt dae eston reminded me... i was waiting for a cab at the bus stop.. cause the bus stop dun hav the bus tt i wan to take home.. but eston do... while walking to the bus stop.. i saw a woman carrying alot of stuff... and she was waiting for a cab also.. suddenly this question flashed across my mind... if i wait a cab at the bus stop.. wouldnt i be cutting off tt woman's cab.. i mean she is carrying so many things..y dun i let her take first... anyway.. i am nt on a hurry to go home... but there is one sentence tt eston said made me tink abt it... if u let others... u are jus being cruel to urself.. cause if i let tt woman take tt cab first... wouldnt i miss a cab myself.. in the end.. i will hav to wait longer for anoher cab... anyway.. she wil nt recongnise u or sae thank you or be extremely grateful to u tt u allow her to take her cab first... tt is the bad point of view.. but come to tink back abt it.. using this anology... u can treat others well.. ppl may or may nt appreciated..i dun care whether its appreciated or nt.. as long as that person is happy... but when u need help nobody comes.. that is jus so fine.. i am nt trying to help others so tt i can rely on tt person the next time i need help... i jus hate the feeling of being used... ppl tt onli talk to u when u are bored... ppl tt onli sae hi if they see u... ppl tt onli come to u when they seriously need help.. and u jus give it all jus to help them... even if u stay up the whole nite to complete it... but does tt person noes tt? no... ok.. nvm... did the person appreciate wad u did? no.. maybe yes...(god bless him then).. ok.. now.. u need help.. all of them jus disappear.... i hate tt kinda of feeling.. it jus sux... i dare to sae... nobody... i haven seen anyone.... nv ever in my life... put in the same effort as i put in for the same person when i seek help... nv ever........ and i tot tt after we chatted on msn.. we would be closer... and u can be the first one.. but no... sometimes.. i wish i can jus throw away all my problems..or.. jus keep everything to myself.. let my eyes be the judge of character... keep my mouth shut and talk when onli needed to... i was so shocked tt i can dun talk to anyone when i am nt spoken to for one whole week... record rite? does tt noe me in secondary school.. i am nt like tt... well.. i like it this way... maybe it will be the way from todae on.. the new zihao...

Hahahaha... Bu Fei!!!!

2005-08-20T02:41:00.000-07:00

Hahahahaha.. todae went all the way until geylang there to eat bu fei..(bu fei = buffet.. it does nt mean "nt fat"..lolx...) anyway.. buffet makes u fat... wa.. i tell u lor.. this is the first and the last time i am entering into tt restaurant. First of all.. the customer service sux to the max... we enter the shop and nobody walks forward to serve us. Secondly... we sat down for like 15 minutes then the guy comes along with the menu. Thirdly.... the workers there are like so slack until got one customer waited for like 1 hour plus and got so fed up and walked inside the kitchen and scolded all the workers... cause she was like the second table to reach the restaurant and we were like the fourth or fifth table and yet we got out dishes and she did nt... well..... the chilli soup sux too... when u put it in ur mouth.. onli the taste of chilli oil.. its jus like drinking chilli oil if u ask me... lolx.. but nt bad lahz.. the food there is fresh.. and all the chicken and pork slices are thin and tender.... if onli the service of the restaurant was better.. i guess there wil be more customers going into the restaurant... dun sae i critise ppl until like tt.. but when u walk into the restaurant... u can see yesterdae's leftover dishes down there nt cleared.. u noe wad i mean then.. the workers there are like so slack lo.. lolx... aiyah.. blog till here le.. gtg and do my project le...

Found out tt i actually miss u badly

2005-08-14T08:06:00.000-07:00

Argh... mondae blues again.. so sian.. this is a busy week for me... and so is huiting... so many presentation and tests... jia you wor!! the holidaes are coming... jus hang on for a little longer!!! then its going to be play, play, play!!! shuting... dun be too sad.... cheer up.. i will always be there for u!! ^_^.. and tingting.. lolx... dun be too upset toooooooooo.. cheer up... and saraphina, bao, elizebeth.. prelims and o's are coming!! jia you wor! jerome.. go on for ur final exam!!... i am sure u will do well... u ass...lolx.. and lastly... i dunno y i miss u so much.. but i reali dun wish to see u.... glad u are so happy wif him.. take care...

Finally.. got time to blog

2005-08-13T11:23:00.000-07:00

Argh!.. finally got time to blog.. wa so busy nowadaes... zZz... homework and homework.. but once again. i am decieving myself.. for the past month.. i dunno wasted how much money on lan games already... but once again... i reali regretted it... one of my stupid classmates was addicted to it after playing it once.. and asked the whole gang of them to join in the game.. i was dragged along.. well... peer influence perharps.... i dun wan to be a wet blanket.. but now i am serious.. i am nt going to play lan anymore.. i mean.. exams are coming.. this coming week i got 5 quizes.. OMG.... then furthermore.. my main exams are starting near the early september!!!!.. i need to buck up!.. so many things i am nt sure of.. GOD BLESS ME!... hiaz.. suddenly the pace pick up.. and there are so many things to do.. including projects and all the stuff... argh!!! wasted plenty of time play tt stupid game... lame...... and now both sides are lost... u wasted my time.. ask me go there and play lan and u stupid loser.. walk out of the game halfway.. wad a jerk lo... its nt abt commanding ppl.. but wad i feel is tt if u dun gain respect... and u command ppl, who will listen to u.. furthermore.. if the reali do wad u sae.. they wil get "killed"... who wans to listen to u?? may it be life or in game... but a good leader does things himself most of the time, rather than let others do things for him.. its jus like.. somethings its better to do it urself... if u dont go and defend ur own base.. u expect others to do wad u dont wan to do?? tt is totally ridiculous... and i cant believe i met a loser like u... u call me to go.. and i withdraw out my money... then in the end.. u left halfway.......... so lame... i intended to go home and study one.. but in the end.............. a wasted trip...... and the best of all.. u left without telling anyone at all... tt is jus so good.. any idiot will tink tt u are a LOSER!!!! cannot take downfall... actually.. let me tell u the truth... it reali gets on my nerves hearing u talk abt DOTA in class... u are like the Mr know it all... tt's y they sae... empty vessels make the most noise... and one more sentence to u... better to keep ur mouth shut then to remove it wif all doubt.... dun hao lian tt u noe everything....

argh!!!!!!!!!

2005-08-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

Argh!!!.. wad is happening to me!!!! i feel so stupid and useless suddenly.. i jus felt so helpless... my work are pilling up and everything is getting more and more difficult.. i told myself nt to be so stressed up.. but competition is jus so tense... now all i tink abt is how many marks i lost in a test.. not how many marks i obtain in a test.. everything is going so wrong.. i seriously need a break from everything... plz god.. guide me through this part of my life.. i reali dun noe wad to do already.. sry ppl.. my tagboard dunno wad happen to it.. i will fix it when i am free...

No.. tml starts school again.. hiaz...

2005-07-31T08:11:00.000-07:00

NoOoOOoOOooO.. tml starts school again.. hiaz... sianz... once again.. another new weeks.. feeling the mondae blues.... sian ar!!!!! hiaz.... everybody is so busy.. hahaha... buried in project.. especially huiting.. i feel so sad for her... hiaz... cannot do anything to help her also.. so helpless.. *sobs*...(jerome.. if u wan to sae i got soft spot for girls.. or wadsoever... sae lo.. like i care)... NoooOoO.. i tink my tag board is spoilt and i dun noe wad to do abt it.. so lame.. my tagboard there shows page cannot be found... how!!!!????? noOoOoOo.. how sia!!! dead.... hiaz... now nt onli i feel tt we are on different wavelengths.. but i also felt tt u nv considered my feelings... all the while i hav been trying to help u... nt to get angry or nt to feel sad.. i get scolded by u... let u vent ur anger on me.. but wad do i get.. nth... then now u sae tt i dont even consider ur feelings.. well.. hav u ever considered mine in the first place.. i am jus some nobody in ur life.. maybe my approach is wrong.. but wad i am trying to do is to pinpoint the fault and make u forget the problem.. but all u tink is tt i am blaming u for everything.. i jus felt tt if u could forget all the small small things.. u can be a far more happier person... instead of being angry over it... tt is wad i feel... if u tink i am wrong.. then i am sry.. i guess i wont be talking to u anymore... since my words will onli make u angry and even more sad...

Movies!!!

2005-07-30T11:02:00.000-07:00

Hahahaha... todae me jerome and maurice go and watch "the Island".. The show is nice.. hahahaha.. but... its again.. a painful show.... the cutting and all the funny stuff... especially the grapling gun.. dang... it pierces through the skin and then open inside ur flesh..*ouch*..hahahaha... but its a nice show.. the effects are nice.. they make it v real... hahahaha... jus like in the near future... nth much happened todae.. jus tt i saw ting ting, ming kiat and wan zhen.. hahaha.. ting ting and wan zhen are doing well... look more pretty le wor.. haha... ming kiat looks good too.. hahaha.. going to slp lo.. nitez

hahahahaha.... i keep getting flashbacks in my dreams..

2005-07-27T08:05:00.000-07:00

Wow... these are odd daes... these few daes i keep getting flashbacks for the future... give u two typical example... last few nites.. when i slp.. b4 i had those odd nitemares..... i always dream of short flashbacks... like last time(v long time ago.. when i was in secondary school) i dreamt tt i was down there doing homework... and i was scratching my head v seriously... and when i took a closer look.. i noe its maths.. but i dun understand wad are all the numbers and all the stuff.. i dun understand most of the things... and when i looked at the answer, the book was nt printed properly, so some of the answers cannot be seen.. how i noe when todae i did my engineering maths... for chapter 5.. exponential and logarithimic functions... all these figures seem so familiar to me... and the answers are exactly faded away... same questions as those tt i dreamt abt... and jus now i was watching tv.. the 10pm show.. the one on channel U... there is one scene where the guy broke up wif her girlfriend.. and then the yang guang was hiding in his room waiting for him to come back... and they talked.. i also dreamt of tt.. i remembered v clearly.. especially the closet in the background.. wow... hahaha... happened alot of times already.. sometimes i am kinda of shocked myself.. but these are rather insignificant and random events.. i cant reali figure out these things sometimes.. its jus so random and vague.. i cant reali make it out.. sometimes its ppl talking to me over some senseless stuff... and i dunno when is tt going to happen... its jus seems tt the particular event is so familiar... and u had seen everything somewhere... but u jus cant figure out where u hav seen it.. hahaha... its jus so eerie sometimes... send the chills down my spine.. cause sometimes unpleasant events also happen and some actually came true... i reali hope they dont.. of course.. but overall.. most of my dreams are kinda of absurd.. LOLX... doing all the funny things... and all the impossible things tt i can ever tink of... i even dreamt tt i was a star player in the NBA... LOLX.. can u believe tt??? hahahaha... well... these few daes are all pure crap.. nth happen so nth to sae lo.. LOLX.. simple rite?? hahaha.. going off le.. i hate thursdae!!! so long.. and all the lessons are so stupid..... argh!!!!... but nvm!!!.. thursdae mean tt fridae is coming!!!! yeah! i am going out wif chunfeng and freddie.. both their birthdaes... i tink i am going to be broke already.. sad... LOLX.. then saturdae i tink jerome they all also go and watch movie again.. hope tt jerome can return the money tt he owe me... sian.. but i dun noe how to sae it to him... i mean i dunno how to put it out to him to ask me to return me.. LOLX... slp le.. mummy come and chase me le...

hahaha... so glad!

2005-07-26T08:02:00.000-07:00

Hahaha.. todae go back to school to visit mrs liew.. i am so glad tt she is so fine.. she is so happy to see us all.. hahaha.. so do we... we are so glad for her and her baby.. hahaha.. now her stomach even bigger than mine.. so we were down there talking and talking.. LOLX.. like gossiping session like tt.. LOLX... all the tais tais gather for their "social" talk.. LOLX... hahahahaha... pity i and dun jiu hav been dragged in to it.. hahaha..( but i also had my fair share of gossip too... heez...) ahahahahaha.... so glad these few daes... finally i am free from burdens tt i used to hav last time... there are always two side on a coin, in life, when negative things happen to us, we often look on the negative side solely... and nt tink abt wad other alternatives we have... like staying happy and disregarding wad happens to us.. hahahahaha... to look back.. i was so foolish to care so much abt how others feel abt me.. i mean seriously, in reality... u can treat tt person v well... but on the other hand... the person will jus take u for granted..(it always happen like tt) hahahaha.... at first i tot tt i cannot get over nt talking to u on msn... but looks like i am alrite nw... but i guess u are busy.. so i betta nt bother u... well.. i guess this kinda of life is taxing.. so jus take good care of urself and i will be contented.. hahahaha.. now all but one single problem.... i always got some stupid nitemare... its damn scary when u are asleep and tinking of the consequences...but when u wake up and come back to tink of it.. its so dumb, foolish, stupid and argh!!!!... yesterdae's dream was so funnie.... i dreamt tt we all went back to secondary school and there is a remedial lesson at 6pm<--- how is this possible??? ok.. so we reached school... when i reach the classroom... i see sylvester, pei hua, and jie sheng(i tink i dreamt of them cause they always reach sch the earliest... sry.. saraphina.. u are nt in this catergory..LOLX.. i reali hope u will next time..) and i was so shocked... do u noe wad i saw??? i saw THE THREE OF THEM PLAYING POKER AND GAMBLING!!... can u believe tt?? jie sheng gambling??? then after tt the rest of the class start appearing.. and one more thing i felt funnie is... there is nt a single girl turned up for the remedial lesson.. well...(galz from our class all chiongster one.. impossible nt even one single gal turned up) then after tt.. sylvester took my phone to play.. take photo and stuff... so i didnt bother abt him.. after tt i heard from jiesheng tt there is going to be no more lessons.. cause the teacher was sick and went home... and the third shocking thing... he actually asked us all the go zeyi's house to play!!!(jiesheng said tt) !!!!! so we all agreed and all proceeded to zeyi's house... and we played so madly... all of them suddenly go to the cold storage there and buy beer and all kinda alcohol... and everyone proceeded to his house and shout and drink like there is no tomorrow...(i can now see the reason y there are no girls.. and the most crazy one is jiesheng... okok.. i tink its kinda of hard to imagine... as u guys noe.. he stress over small little things... imagine the total opposite.. total opposite.. in my dream.. he stress over when to play next.. and all the impossible things tt u wont expect him to do.. he does it in my dream.. he even pierced 4 ear holes.. drinks alcohol and play like there is no tomorrow) he was shouting the loudest, drinking the most.. and keep taunting me to drink... of course.. i was so obessed wif the new game.. i dunno wad is tt game... then suddenly, in a blink of an eye, it was already v v v dark.. u cannot even see the moon.. and every single one is drunk... every single one... except for me.. then i wanted to call home to sae tt i am coming back now so as nt to let my parents worry... but i found out tt sylvester nv returned me my phone earlier... so i go over and shake him until he is sober.. then he said tt he left my phone in school classroom.. i was so shocked.. then i asked him to go and take it back for me.. but before i can finish my sentence, his knocked out.. so i have no choice but to go back to the school myself... its was so late tt there was no more buses.. so i took zeyi's bike and cycle.... how i noe i took a wrong turn and ended up in my primary school.. st. stephens primary.. i was so curious tt how the school has changed so i cycled inside... i parked my bicycle at the side of the road... and climbed over the fence... i was in the field.. i still remember tt there is a big tree in the middle of the field... it has a lot of entangling roots...(those that u will find in the middle of the mangrove swarm.. as the roots take in oxygen from the air, so its dangled in the air, since in the swarm the tree is submerged in the water...) i walked past the tree.. suddenly the wind picked up... and from a breeze, it turned stronger and stronger... all the leaves on the tree are swaying in all kind of directions... i keep sensing tt somebody is looking at me... suddenly.. i walked towards the tree to examine it.. to my horror.. something rolled out of the tree and to my astonishment... it was a rotting head.. i was so afraid tt i quickly ran away... however in the wrong direction... i ran towards the school building instead of going out... then i onli stopped when i reached the 2nd floor.. the wind has stopped... and i sat down to catch my breath... suddenly, the door slammed shut and broke.. i was so afraid tt i started running down... but everytime i go down a flight of stairs, i am still stuck at the 2nd level... i was even tempted to jump down straight to ground floor.. when i look out... towards the ground floor.. ready to jump, somebody grabbed me from the back.. i turned around and found no one there.. there was a chill down my spine and all my goosepimples had already risen... i jumped down from 2nd level and ran to find zeyi's bike.. when i reach the side of the road where i placed the bike.. i saw a shadow of a person sitting beside the bike.. i walked slowly towards the shadow, trying to make my most out of the dark lighting... and finally when i reached for the bike, he stood up and walked towards me... his arm was rotting and he tried to grab me and he has no eye sockets.. OMG... after tt i woke up.. wad a nitemare... i need sleep!!!

hahaha... bored

2005-07-25T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hahahahahahahah.. so bored... so down here lo.. LOLX.. its seems to me like its a becoming a habit already...well.. wad can actually happen in one single dae? i guess nt much also.. hiaz.. todae the whole dae i was distracted by long lo.. he addicted to DOTA already.. looks like we are going to have another team mate wif us.. LOLX...( but i guess his reaction is still abit retarted.. LOLX... after i death ward him for abt 7 seconds... then he started to run....by tt time his already dead.. LOLX...actually i wan to buy radiance and rape him more.. but i went for dinner halfway.. and let him earn.. play somemore i may lose.. i then dun wan him to gloat tml abt his stupid victory.. LOLX...) wednesdae... wednesdae shall be the dae... where i will own!!.. i wanna see how good tt idoit is... sae until he like v pro like tt... hahahahahahaha.......... but i am nt exactly tt good also... sooooooooo... need to buck up also.. but actually.. who cares so much abt one stupid game... argh!! i am so distracted... i dun care.. after wednesdae i am nt going to play at lan shop anymore.. until the holidaes or something.. study, study, study!!!!!!!!!!! projects are also coming.. although nt like huiting and maurice... so many projects.. for maurice case.. i dun even noe whether its true.. LOLX..sianz ar.. cannot slp at nite.. everydae so tired.. reach home and wait till abt 11pm to slp... but how i noe... by 11am.. suddenly i felt v refreshed.. dun feel like slping anymore.. somemore like so stressed???????? suddenly all the numbers all will appear.. and it seems to me tt i cannot solve them no matter wad... wad's worse is i got a nitemare.. i dreamt tt i failed by 0.1% for continuously for 4 years.. tt means 4 years from now.. i am still a freshman.... can u believe tt??? and i failed because i am too tense... wry tt this will come out and tt will come out.. i even dig out my secondary books to read up... but no matter wad i do... i cannot pass... for the whole of 4 years... can u believe tt? and it was sooooooooooo real... cause i saw ouyang laughing at me... LOLX... he said something tt i will nv ever forget.. (btw.. i dunno y its him) but suddenly there was a bedok green gathering... and it so happened tt EVERY BODY TURNED UP... NT EVEN ONE MISSING.. EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE EXPRESS STREAM... EVEN BERNARD KAY.. TURNED UP... and suddenly they were talking abt their achievements... there are too many ppl talking.. but i onli remember a few ppl... jerome became a lawyer... and he has jus won a few big cases... talking abt current affairs... jie sheng became a pilot and promoted to captain..(kinda of miracle rite?? but i tink wad happens in the dream wont come true... rite?? LOLX...>_<) and then suddenly.. the attention turned to me... " so how.. zihao? wad are u doing now??? hahaha... y are u so quiet throughout the conversation..." and i actually said it v sadly..." i am taking my first year in mechatronics.. cause i failed 4 years... now is my fifth..." then suddenly.. ouyang.. laughed so loudly... and said... " wah lau eh.. zihao ar.. 4 years already still stuck down there ar??? i botak already(means tt his in NS) u still stuck down there ar??? suay sia.. looks like u reali love TP.. LOLX" and he laugh so loudly tt everyone at the place looked at me... suddenly every single person turned and laugh... all pointing fingers and saeing their own part of critisism... "aiyoh... loser sia.. stuck in such a low cutoff point for so long....", "LOLX... i tot ppl v good in secondary school one.. can teach ppl somemore...in the end still hao lian sia... now look at u... where are u now???", "omg... u are a total disappointment man... plz dun tell ppl u noe me when u go out and work.. oh.. i am so sry.. i forgot it is still ur FIRST YEAR IN TP.. since u are already stuck there for 4 years.. i tink u will kinda of continue.. until perharps... err.... the moon turn into cheese??*sadistic laughter*..." after tt i woke up le... can u actually believe tt??? i pespire so much tt the next dae my mother has to change the bed sheet for me...( i did nt pee in my bed..-_-"") this is even worst then all the nitemare abt horrors add up all together... i reali need another break real bad... i going to break down real soon... didnt noe talking to u on msn is a burden to u too... i am sry...

AIYAH!! SIAN AR!!

2005-07-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

AIYAH.. SIAN LE.. Tml school starts again..once again.. another long and draggy week... aiyah.. dun hav tt kinda of motivation to study like in secondary school.. hahaha.. during secondary sch i look forward to each and every dae to go to sch.. hehe.. i jus dunno y.. its seems to me tt secondary sch life is so fun!!! hahahahahahaha.. reali reali miss secondary sch life... hiaz.. sian.. tml start the dae wif engine drawing.. so early and so boring.. teacher teach like lightning speed and expects us to learn everything in a snap.. then always lie tt whoever tt can hand in on time gets full marks.. in the end... FULL OF CRAP! LOLX.. hahahahhaa... hmm.... results all back le... nt bad!! hahaha.. i am rather contented wif themmm!!! hehe.. sry to keep saeing it... well... weekends over... once again supercharged!!! hahaha... well.. i dun tink i am going to rugby anymore... problems wif my specs.. i dun tink i can cope wif a cca btw.. my class all chiongster... how to balance.. hiaz.. sad case.. somemore i tink i need more time to study already.. syallbus getting more and more difficult.. sianzation!!.. i reali enjoyed myself this weekend.. cause i got no worries abt anything.. perharps a few...(who dont?) but at least majority of my friends turned for the betta and my results are nt bad.. hahahahahhaa.... so once again.... CHIONG AR!!!!! i muz buck up on my practical already....!!! dang.... always getting borderline passes and pulling down my overall... tired.. so tired... reali wish tt the vacation can come faster!!! that is when i can actually truly enjoy... hahahaha... jus like the o levels like tt.. but once again.. i got a feeling tt i will worry abt my results and the next year's syallbus.. well... life is nv ending of worries.. hahaha.. next time work also worry abt nt earning enuff to feed the house... worry abt nt being able to find a job... when u retire.. u wry abt ur grandchildren... well... finally i can reali sae tt u wil stop worrying when u finally step in to the grave.. LOLX... well.. its a fact tt this dae will come for everyone one dae... well... cut the craps... slp lo.. gd nite everyone...P.S: Jerome... if u tink my blog is girly... u can always hav the freedom nt to read... and its nt to impress girls for goodness sake... the music is from spirited away... and this is the onli skin tt is clean.. and i dunno wad other skins to get...

Strangers...

2005-07-22T10:26:00.000-07:00

Hahaha... todae is fridae.. or to be exact.. saturadae morning.. i hav played the whole dae todae.. LOLX... so happy... playing a new game called conquer online.. LOL... hiaz.. sian lo.. fabian nv come up todae.. i kinda of expected tt to happen... he like v busy lo.. i tink one call from his friends and his going to skoot off already... LOL... hiaz.. sianZ.. i suddenly felt tt all my close friends hav all become strangers to me... there can onli be 2 reasons for this... one.. i have changed... two.. they have changed.. due to some factors tt are affected by me somehow or another.... dont u noe tt i actually wan to stay online so tt i can actually find chances to talk to u.. i wan to go back to before... where we were jus so happy... without doing much... even chatting online can be a happy thing.. but nw.. its totally different.. jus because something i said..... and the other one... i reali dunno wad to talk to u already lo... we both now on different wavelength.. jus when i felt tt i was close to getting to noe u betta.. i found out tt our distance widen.... sad case.... did he affect u so much...??? i reali wish we can always stay happy and innocent.. dunno anything but jus staying happy...

Wa.. finally.. its over...

2005-07-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

Hahaha.. finally.. all my results are back.. hehehehehe... well.. i am quite satisfied wif my results.. no complains.. LOL... nt no complains actually.. hahahahaha... maybe a little complains lahz.. hahahahahahahaha... hmm.. after this term test.. i tink i am somewhere in the middle of 4th or 3th place...(hopefully, i am third ba... hopefully... hahahahahahaha) i got 80/100 for my engine maths and 41/50 for my digital fundamentals.. now i seriously hope tt i can do well for my lab test... which i tink its already gone case.. LOL... finally.. a breather.. hahahaha... i was so worried abt it..maybe get to relax for a little while... hehehe.. but nt too long.. i jus suddenly felt so tired... term test already make me so tired.. final exam i dunno wad to sae already.. LOL.. from the looks of most teachers's face.. i dun tink i reali proud of myself.. cause seriously.. i tink tt this papers are considered easy compared to past year term test papers.. i hav to brace myself for the final year paper.. well.. miss S.. i guess ur prelims are coming.. so u betta work hard.. its finally here already.. i tink u can do it.. i give u my confidence.. hahahahaha..so dun wry too much.. jus dont push urself too hard ok?? anyways.. all the best for ur presentation tml huiting..hahaha.. i guess u can do it.. and dont worry abt ur econs test too much.. i guess u will do well.. and bao.. thx for ur encouragement... nw cheer up.. dun be too sad ok??? take care of urself.. hmm.. saturadae is coming.. going out wif jerome and maurice soon.. watch movie again?? hiaz.. u betta be punctual ok jerome.. bleach download finish already.. damn exciting now.. if u are reading this.. u betta come early this saturadae... going to slp soon le.. tml is fridae!!! hahaha... enjoy ur bala dae!!!! gd nite everyone..

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2005-07-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

SAD CASE!!!! i tink todae i fail my Digital fundamental lab test fail already.. OMG........................................ i cant even get the results sia.. sianZzz.. i totally suck at practical.. all the while.. in secondary school also... i tink i cannot get a1 for science also partly tt one lo.... siansation!!!.... hiaz.. i jus wanna complain sia.... y???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? tml the results of maths and digital fundamental are coming back.. the final 2 papers.. *fingers crossed*... hehehehehe... at least let my term test do well too..!.. getting late.. nites everyone... going to slp lo... *yawnZ*

Omg... my friends are so depressed...

2005-07-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

Hiaz.. life is so sad eh???? everyone around me.. one by one.. are feeling so depressed... kinda of irony eh?? when i was sad... everyone kinda of happy and joyful.. nw i am alrite...... everyone around me is feeling depressed.. either one matter or another.... i reali hope to help.. but it seems to me tt i am jus a hinderance to them.. saeing all the unecessary stuff to them.. which may jus make them more depressed... i jus dunno wad to sae to comfort them.. cause i reali appreciate tt they were there for me when i was sad and down.. but nw.. i am unable to help them back in anyway.. i can onli stand there and watch helplessly.. the best i can do is to provide a listening ear for them... some will sae tt this is the best u can do.. but i dont feel tt this is enuff... i wan to help more.. when i am happy.. i wan my friends to be happy too... joys are meant to be shared... so i seriously hope tt they will once again smile and return to their cheerful selves!!! (huiting.. i seriously hope tt u can find ur thumbdrive... and i seriously wan to help u... i dont wan u to put all the blame on urself... cause nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes...... bao... i am still so confused wad is happening.. up rite till nw.. i onli noe tt u are depressed... but i will still be there to lend u a listening ear.. as for ting ting.. jus stay happy ok??? although i reali reali dunno wad to sae to u... but deep down.. i reali hope tt u stay happy....!) hiaz..hahahaha... todae finally.. my first test is being returned...! CKT!.. i was kinda of glad and relieved... although i am nt reali satisfied wif my results.... if i sae u all surely scold me one.. i got 81/100... but i am 5th in class... the reason i am nt happy is because i wanted to ensure tt i can make it in to aerospace... and aerospace.. i heard is onli the top 10% of mechatronics.. and do some maths plz... 10% * 300 = 30... so on average there are 15 classes... so to make it.. i muz be top 3 every subject.. argh!! so stressed... whew.. luckily.. i nv fail my CKT lab test.. although i was one of the lowest..19/30.. but i was so glad tt i nv fail my lab test.. whew! i promise to put more effort nw.. although i dun reali like the teacher!!!.. todae got lectured by my parents.. learned alot todae.. learn how to control my temper more.. i felt tt i sometimes kinda of rude... especially to my parents.. i am sry.. but its always tt kinda of sudden uptight mood... i jus burst out the rude reply.. come back to tink abt it.. daddy was rite to lecture me abt tt... i am sry.. but nt trying to use this as an excuse.. but sometimes i am reali stressed and the tone tt u all talk to me... i always give u all tt kinda of rude ans.. i will try to control myself more.. i promise!.. furthermore.. i reali hope to cut out the habit of scolding vulgarities... i reali hope bao change tt habit also... well.. stop here le.. tml still got sch!!.. HOPE U FIND UR THUMB DRIVE!!!!! take good care my friends.. especially u ar miss s.. hahaha.... exams around the corner!!!

NOOOOOOOO.. tml sch starts!

2005-07-17T08:01:00.000-07:00

NOOoOOooOO.. tml sch starts.. this marks the end of my holidaes!!! OMG.. i am so worried tt i dont feel like sleeping.. tml the term test results are coming back.. although they dont hav reali reali significant weightage.. but it will decide whether i am actually cut out in this course.. cause it is my final confidence already.. if it is shattered.. then i dunno wad i shuld do already... i already put in my most for most of the subjects.. passing is nt an option anymore... hiaz.. wad's the use of saeing all these when i am waiting for my results.... hiaz.............. reali wish i can make it into aerospace!!!!!!!! if nt i reali dunno wad to do already... hiaz.. tml stil got sch early.. dang.. i hate mondaes and thursdaes.. such long daes... sad case.. gtg and slp early.. later daddy come out and nag at me already.. sianzation... hope tt all my friends will cheer up... no matter wad happens... i hope u can look forward in life... but of course once again.. i will never understand wad u are going thru... cause i was nv once in ur shoes.. well... u can jus sae action speaks louder than words and how convienent am i down here saeing tt u all muz stay happy... but sincerly.. deep down in my heart.. there is nth i can actually do... but onli to pray sliently tt u all are alrite.. especially bao.. and ting ting...

SianZZZZ.. after tml sch is going to start!!!

2005-07-16T13:35:00.000-07:00

Sian... sch is going to start tml... hiaz... so sian sia... once again.. slog and slog and slog... hiaz.. tml i need to go and buy alot of things sia..wah lau.. mondae got test... i dun tink i will do well for my term test... disappointment it shall be... tinking of it makes me sad...:( hiaz... worries, worries and more more more worries!!! when is it going to stop????????????? somebody plz help me... the thoughts of failing my first test is still haunting me...!!! i dun wan my dad to hav tt disappointed face anymore... i haven seen him happy for a v long time.. although he always scold me.. but i noe he cares abt me alot... he is tt kinda of ppl tt dont noe how to express his care... i reali appreciate wad he does for me... i am glad tt i hav such wonderful parents!!!... i reali looking forward to the vacation at the end of the year!( sara.. i am waiting for ur invitation to ur "PERSONAL" chalet.. remember ur promise u made to us and to urself.. jia you!) recently.. i can see.. tt alot of problems are arising from my friends... hiaz.. relationship problems.. unhappiness and stuff... hope everybody can resolve them quickly.. ting ting.. dun be too sad ar??? hahaha... muz face tml wif a brighter face!!! cheer up!!! bao.. dun be too affected by him ok??? jus remember to study hard for ur o's!! i already dunno wad to sae to u already...cause i am nt good wif my words.. but i sincerly wished all the best for u...! study hard and play hard after the exams.. as u said, after ur o's.. u wan to "feng" wif him also can... so look forward to tt guilt free.. nt like me now... so worried abt my results...sobs:'(

2nd last dae of my holidaes!!!

2005-07-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hahahaha.. todae is my second last dae of my holidaes.. time passes so fast.. so quickly.. 4 daes have passed... v soon.. my new school semester is going to start.. but i jus dont noe y.. i dont wan it to start again... tinking abt my term tests gives me the creeps... tinking of how i am going to spent my next semester... how am i going to cope wif the work.. looking at the guide book..(CKT) i opened and looked.. i understand how to do.. but............... do u wan to even try?? wad phrasor diagrams and rectangular diagrams.. after tt.. i jus dont feel like touching the guide book anymore... and seriously.. having nth to do.. stay at home... can make u crazy.. cause u got seriously plenty of time to daze... and i dunno whether its good or bad for me... but seriously... i tink tt i am so childish... so stupid.... maybe at tt time i was onli considering the fact tt since i chose to remain as friends... but in the end.. u did nt contact me anymore... i was so sad... and so angry... angry tt y i did nt take the other alternative.. since i am going to lose this friendship in the end.. but i already noe the result and i mean although i regret it v much... i noe this is going to hurt me alot.. but i reali wish to talk to u once more....i jus missed u so much... humans are foolish!.. jus look at the irony.. but i jus cant bring myself to hate others.. like for example.. i dun like ppl avoiding me... and since u dont like ppl doing something to u( in this case.. avoiding u...) u dont do it to others.. so i reali cant bring myself to truly hate u ir wadsoever.. i guessed u already noe who i am talking abt already.. i am glad tt he is treating u well.. jus take care of urself okies???? wa.... sunburnt... so hot... LOL.. did nt expect tt to happen though.. i tot nth happened.. my back skin so thin.. LOL.. everytime kenna one... if i onli knew earlier... nw my skin like scales like tt...then i cant even slp properly... so painnn...>_<... i reali dont feel like slping if i can... i dont wan time to fade away... i dont wan my holidaes to end so quickly... actually i sort of missed all my friends.... but they are all so busy... sara = the last time when we watched madagascar.. eileen.. last time i guess is tt time i passed u back ur amaths text book.. miraculously... nv see u in the whole poly otherwise..(wei xiong keeps saeing tt he see u alot of times).. huiting.. once or twice.. and she will grin so much... always happy i can see.. (hope u remain like tt all the time!!) the whole of 4/5... so darn little.. especially all those tt go SP.. i haven seen zeyi for a long time.. nv hear his voice and stuff... pei hua and all the guys... hahaha... take care ppl!!! Bao.. i dont noe wad happened to u recently.. but i seriously hope tt u can pick urself up.. i wan to see the girl tt always laugh and have fun all the time... take care...!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...... ALL MY THINGS ARE GONE!!!!!

2005-07-12T06:40:00.000-07:00

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa........ all my data is gone... stupid computer.. also dunno wad's going on in there... nt even 3 mths and starting to spoil already... everything tt i had stored in there.. downloaded for the past 3 mths are all gone... nvm lo... jus download again... wahahahaha.. ting come back todae le...(where is my present.. teeehehe...no lahz.. jking onli...) my head is spinning rite nw... terrible headache.. wa..so bored at home lo... further more.. com like tt also... hiaz... I jus felt so alone u noe... i noe tt i will nv understand u.. maybe i am nt putting enuff effort to understand u... well.. i reali hope tt u can be comfortable and talk to me... nt like onli choosing stuff to talk... i dun wish tt any of my friends to talk to me hiding this and hiding tt.. i jus wan u to be straightforward and sae wadever u wan to sae to me.. tt is wad i call a conversation.. and nt hide stuff here and there.. i respect ur decisions in keep the stuff tt u wan.. i am nt expecting u to pour out everything... well.. i reali wish tt our conversations can be relaxed... cause there are many things tt i wan to sae it to u.. but the atmosphere is nt rite...hmm.. hw shuld i sae tt? i mean if u are nt going to tell me the things tt are deep in ur heart.. i cant reali establish a trust to tell u mine.. well.. tt is wad i feel though... i mean its still up to u if u dont wanna sae... (sad to sae... the best conversation tt i ever had with u was last year near christmas.. tt part where we actually.... i mean tt conversation reali helps me put down all my troubles for a moment.. cause wad i kept inside all along was said out.. although i totally regretted it... but for tt moment... i actually felt v comforted...) well.. its all ur decision.. i am nt forcing u or wad... i noe tt u still treat me as a good friend... hahaha... but sometimes i jus wished tt we had both the same priorties in our heart....hahaha... how lucky are u.. to tell u the truth.. i admire u and her so much.. and sometimes.. i am reali jealous.... tt y i hav nt found a friend like u.. maybe it jus takes time... maybe i had already found tt person.. but did nt cherish my chances...i was reali hoping tt she will be the one... maybe i am close.. maybe i am nt...i jus suddenly felt so lonely.. well...i still got great friends near me.. i will cherish them too.. hahaha... but sometimes i reali cannot stand him sia!! wa lau.... the big, brave and mr know it all, the commentator... mr PAP to be... still got wad.. the big planner for the future..young boss of 2005... mr poser... reali pisses me off sometimes... wa lau eh... in one dae... he jus did at least 5 things tt pisses me off.. first he comes my hse wif his sister's laptop... and force me to watch bleach wif him again.. ask me to on bleach for him to watch... i tot somebody said tt it was a sucky show? dun wan to watch it.. then in the end enjoy it so much.. tt he wans to rewatch it again.. then start introducing to freddie like its his anime like tt.. plz lor... dun force ppl to watch wad they dont like lahz.. furthermore its my com.. and its the anime tt i introduced to u.. sucky dont watch lahz.. still ask ppl to watch it wif u for wad... then play hero siege.. act pro.. go -random.. then ask me to open 2 lanes.. in the end.. leak like shit.. then the 2nd time we play.. nobody wans to go for the boss wave... all wan to get the mob and get money onli... wth.. then muradin stage die onli wan me to open 2 lanes for u... tt time i die u also nv open for me.. give me some crap excuses tt u hav lo... then still so loud somemore.. my dad scold me like hell lo... then expect me to off my speaker at ur convienence.. did u ever turn down ur speaker for mine? sae the music v irritating... then after tt my mother asked u to stay for dinner.. u still complained abt the food.. saeing stuff like the fish tastes like potato chips.. eh.. hello.. be blessed tt u have free food served to u ok.. still complain wad... then still act like u noe everything like tt..wad shares of the SIA and so on... plz lor.. dont complain abt them.. if they crumble then no more singapore airlines lo... wad power do u hav to critise wad investments they make... are u the director of SIA? are u the president of SIA? if nt.. plz keep ur mouth shut.. and p.s... i hate ur know it all attitude and even if u one dae find out my blog and happen to noe tt i am riting abt u... plz feel free to come and approach me.. u can critise me back for all i care.. if i dun like wad u do.. i will sae it out. i am tt straightforward.. if u dont like wad i do.. u can always do the same thing back to me.. i am fine wif tt.. and if u like to comment abt a movie so much.. next time u can watch a movie urself.. and comment all to jerome for all i care.. plz.. dun come and tell me stuff like tt... i am sick and tired of hearing all tt...

Wow.. fantastic 4 is fabulous!

2005-07-09T13:40:00.000-07:00

hahaha.. todae go watch fantastic four... hahahaha... reali fantastic... i like the human torch.. LOL.. dunno y.. although he is awfully childish... hahahaha.... well... finally my holidaes are here.. at long last.. hahahahaha... at last i can sit back and relax a little while.. hope i get the results tt i wan... zZz... plz.... pray hard.. hahaha.. ting is on her way nw.. take good care wor.. hahahaha... i dunno y i feel excited for her.. hahaha.. the holidae atmostphere.. hahaha.. well... she got her own stuff.. and i got mine!!.. well.. blog til here le.. nth much happened todae... take care!

Todae was a long dae...

2005-07-08T09:50:00.000-07:00

SO LONG... TODAE IS SO LONG... OMG... DREAM TOO LONG!!!....HAHAHA.. play hero siege all the way... SO MANY TIMES AND TIMES AND TIMES UNTIL I DREAMING OF HERO SIEGE!!!! OMG... HELP ME.. I AM TINKING HW MANY TIMES I CAN PLAY HERO SIEGE TML.. LOL... PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!.... HAHAHAHA... lalalalala...( oh ya.. conquer online sux actually.. or actually.. i dont see the fun in it) saw jie sheng todae... well.. he was in a good mood.. can see.. so nice to see him doing quite well.. stress self once again.... see us onli feel so guility.. LOL... hahaha.. dun talk abt it here... dont make u pai sei... and another reason is for tt particular person who likes to read this blog.. haha.. tt person shuld noe who i am refering to.. haha.. forget him ba.. i noe its difficult... but u muz try!!! dont anyhow imagine things already.. things do nt always go ur way... well.. at last... something off my heart.. thank u for talking to me.. LOL.. i needed somebody to pass on my burden.. hahahahahahaha... well.. holidaes over le.. i guess u shuld work doubly hard nw.. looking forward to the next phone conversation wif u the next week.... take care...!

At long last.. my term tests are over.. hahaha..

2005-07-08T00:39:00.000-07:00

Yes.. finally over le.. PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!!!! (btw.. jia you sara.. and all those ppl who still hav exams going on!!!..) hahaha.. nw time is on my side.. i can lay off homework for a little while..(worked so hard lo... especially my maths.. hope my efforts pay off...)*fingers crossed* hahaha... but for nw.. playing spree... huiting haven finish exams go book tickets to go genting wif her friends already....(sounds so fun.. but i dont like travelling.. home sweet home is the best!!! there got everything tt i wan within my reach.. or to be exact.. u can sae i lazy ar.. LOL...) long journey somemore.. from saturdae nite to tuesdae nite...(i am going to miss u so bad.. :'(SOBS:'(..) i am nt trying to make use of u lor... sae until like i am some criminal... hahaha... HMPH... anyways.. enjoy urself there...! todae is sophia's POP i tink... all the best sophia... sry sara.. i nt going down.. u shuld noe y.. LOL.. hahaha... i jus like to lay back and relax at home.. nth to do also nvm.. todae i am in the mood to day dream..lalala... drift off the dream land!.. hahaha........... and i jus found out tt i jus fell in love wif somebody tt i am nt supposed to... well... i keep telling myself tt i shuld nt be doing tt... well... sometimes its jus so difficult to keep it inside u u noe... hahaha.... but i guess perharps i am nt going to sae ba... cause once again.. i cherish friendship more then anything else.. i dont wan to attempt to lose her again.. ever again.. hope tt history dont repeat itself can le... take care my friends!

Another sleepless nite...

2005-07-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

Hiaz.. so stress lo... i scared i nt enuff time to revise... die le lahz.. slack too much already... term test coming already.. todae still go and watch movie... War of the worlds.. haha.. it was nice.. well.. once again.. the movie was commented alot by the great critic... who has alot of complains.. if u tink making a movie is to let u critise.. then go and die... appreciate ppl's effort in making a movie.. next time when u make a movie and let ppl critise.. see hw u feel.. u faggot.. then plz dont act like u noe the whole world by jus reading a few pages of the encopedia(or hwever u spell tt word.. i am too tired and lazy to find the correct spelling.. cause its something like 4.53am... sundae) another sleepless nite... kaoZ... argh!!! so stress.. anyways... i jus wan to let u noe.. tt nt onli the 2 ppl are important in my heart.. u are also one of them equally important to me... or should i sae 2 ppl including u... the other one i reali give up already....haha.. sry.. tt dae nv concentrate and talk to u.. i feel so guilty nw.. i promise tt i will cherish tt the time tt u can spend to talk to me... so sry... haha... hope tt we are friends forever... but again... i reali reali dont wish to talk already... i dont noe whether i am rite to sae this... but i find tt this sentence is quite rite.."Better to keep ur mouth shut then to open it and remove all doubt" nt tt i am saeing tt i got nth to sae.. but i suddenly feel tt opening ur mouth somehow reali reali shows ur flaws.. and i am going thru an unstable mode nw... i reali dont wan to sae the wrong things.. or to be exact and tell u the truth.. i reali dont wan u to change the impression of me in ur heart...(after tt incident.. i found of hw an impression of one person can affect one so much) i noe i am seriously flawed... but i reali hope i can change... but changes jus dont come easy... so nw i reali dont mind jus listening to u talk all dae long abt ur things.. and secondly.. it reali helps me to take my mind off my problems... and btw... dont keep things from me lehz... tell me ma... u state in ur blog then nv sae.. make me so tempted to noe.. haha.. anyways.. if u reali wan to sae anything abt us.. jus go ahead.. i will nt be sad or anything.. dont worry.. i reali reali forgot abt her already.. so dont worry... i muz give u face also ma.. i forgot abt her but nt u ma.. so its unfair to let u nt to sae things abt her.. haha... to me.. i will reali like u to tell me everything if it is possible... hahaha.. tt is my meaning of close friends... as for the other one... i reali dont noe wad to sae to her already... i am kinda of jealous..deep down in my heart... cause when talking abt priorities.. i treat her one as one of the close friends.. but it seems to me tt its nt the other way around... hiaz.. missed out so many things tt i wan to sae.. so bo bian muz post here.. haha.. it seems to me tt i will like to give up already lo.. u are my last hope.. HAHAHA... since both their characters almost kinda of same..so i tink i can already forsee the future already... if she reali wans to do tt.. then i guess i will be more sad than ever... although we onli noe each other for quite a short period of time.. but i guess our friendship is more firm then compared to her...(i am nt reali sure whether i am rite though..i am so confused also... deep down in my heart....)ok.. go and slp le.. tml cannot waste half a dae sleeping...

GAY ATTACK!!!

2005-06-30T08:04:00.000-07:00

OMG!!!!!... its true!!! THERE IS A GAY IN OUR CLASS!!! HELP ME!!!! i am starting to hate him... *speechless* totally!!! i was like so irritated by him lo.. sick guy.. keep touching me... kaoZ... i tell u... i am especially in a bad mood these daes.. i am trying to control my temper and i could snap anytime... so u better nt come too close.. with continuous 2 nites wif onli 4 hrs of sleep.. would u snap? and tt stupid guy keeps touching me... i feel like breaking his hand sia... but of course.. we are all grown ups.. and we dont resort to violence... but i reali feel like breaking his arm.. i cannot stand it anymore... but of course wif all due respect.. he is my senior.. but once again... when he touch my butt... i feel like tearing him apart.. piece by piece.. todae i was kind enuff to push him away... idoit... i sit where he will shift his place and come to sit beside me.. i know me means well.. seeing me so lonely staring into blank space(ppl who noe me.. the reason is because i nv slp well or nv at all) but he damn sick lo... tinking back at the times where i treated him well cause he was from mynammar.. and somemore i wan him to hav a good impression for his stay in singapore or rather let him feel a part of us when he study instead of being a foreign student.. but THIS IS TOO MUCH!!!(i dun see girls doing tt to me..-_-"" y muz it be a guy) SICK ASS!!!!!!!!!! i am going to snap... i am going crazy... on the verge of tearing someone already.. todae.. the ultimate disappointment... my d fund test.. 12/20.. tt is 60% for those who dont noe how to count... wad the hell was that? i was too confident that i will do well.. this jus sux totally... i hav no more motivation to study anymore.. i am so exhausted.. it's jus so discouraging... to see such results... i promise tt if that stupid gay ever lay his hands on me again.. or to be exact.. my butt.. his dead.. he is so dead that he wished that his mother nv bore him... I HATE GAYS!!!!!!!!! looking at them jus turns me off... DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING, DISGUSTING... i jus wished that i had a punching bag... then i will tear it apart.. todae the first victim.. my classmate.. hakim... jus after my free access lab period... i was so disappointed cause the drawing i did wrongly then everyone is going off already... so sad.. wasted my time.. then suddenly i found out tt the door cannot move... then i tried to push down the knob again.. its stuck.. i tot i jus saw half my class go out using tt door? so i gave the door a good push... it still wont open... tt's it.. my fuse blow and "wham" i kicked the door... then hakim start coming out from the bottom of the door... he did nt expect me to kick the door so hard.. but i reali dont noe tt he is behind the door... then everyone from the opposite class all look outside.. finding out where tt sound is coming from... an u idoit... lucky owyoung told me tt u idoit badmouth me... i tot u changed for the better.. but warn u first ar.. u dont wish to end up like the gay rite?

Jus another one fine dae...

2005-06-29T08:21:00.000-07:00

My term test are coming... argh... i feel so sloggish.. dont even feel like study.. so exhausted... so slacking... and its jus next week.. i reali hope tt i can do well.. well.. i cant always hope and wished tt it come true.. of course i muz put in effort... todae is my last slacking dae.. from tml onwards.. i am going to study all the way... my insomnia is back again..(i dont noe whether i spelt tt correctly...i suck at english...) hope its going to be a short one.. i cannot afford to hav one at this period of time.. cause my term tests are coming... i guess the "knockout pills" will do the job... well.. ppl sae tt its nt good... but look at yesterdae... i was sitting at the living room and staring at blank space.. hoping tt i will go to slp.. but i did nt.. tears jus welled out of my eyes(i did nt cry -_-") i wasnt tinking abt any stuff either... jus hoping i will go to slp.. and it seems to me tt i wasnt even tired during todae's class... btw.. i hav a bad news... our target classmate has been found... A GAY!!!.. at last.. after 4 weeks of torture... and somemore i tink he dont hav much friends... and furthermore... he is from mynmmar... OMG... he keep touching me.. tt is so like disgusting... but i cannot do anything to him lehz.. jus dont go near him lo.. no choice.. ren more few weeks... then i dont tink i will see him tt often anymore.. maybe i treat him well among all the other ppl and i got meat... tt's y... YUCKS!.. tinking abt it makes mi wan to vomit my dinner... I AM STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! furthermore... using this topic here.. i will like to talk more abt good treatment and friendship... a friendship isnt established jus because u got tt person's contact number in the phone book, talked to tt person more than 50 sentences and gone out at least on one outing... tt isnt friendship... if tt is friendship.. then i tell u... i dare to sae at least half of bedok are my friends.. all the uncles and aunties from shops downstairs my hse.. most of the stalls at the 85 market are all my friends... furthermore even hw well u treat the person.. the person will nt even noe anything... the person dont even cares.. ppl will onli care when wad they took for granted is gone.. anyway.. its nt tt i wan to take this choice.. i am the willing party.. ppl choose to ignore mi.. so whos problem isit nw? ppl ignore mi and its my problem? i jus dont see the sense in it.. come on..u noe me.. i am nt tt type of goody guy tt will talk slowly and nicely over this sick topic... but jus look at tt... i dont tink i can even call it "i tink she still treats u as a gd friend".. come on... i tink ppl from fred's class also on better terms wif mi than her lo... who cares abt being wif her the rest of my life.. when u can even sustain the basics of the basics.. a friendship.. as i said.. a relationship is something which is jus a higher level of friendship... like i care tt i will like being wif her the rest of my life... Between hate and love.. it is onli a thin line drawn.. i am nt tt kind tt will also rite all the nice nice things.. sae it in a nice manner and so on... i am so tired.. so tired... i dont dig literature, cant rite like u.. words contain meaning... nw onli left u onli.. the rest are all gone nw... even the one tt was added in recently is going to be gone soon.. trust my instincts... take a look her... jus for example.. i will give u an option, to go out wif eileen or to go out wif me.. who would u choose.. u can onli choose one.. cannot choose both... obviously u noe the option in ur heart.. this is all abt prioritiers.. she has her own great friends.. i hav been waiting for her the whole evening... jus to sae hi... (once again.. this is abt treatment.. u treat the person well.. the person may nt treat u well back in return.. i dont give a damn abt returns.. but y cling on to a one sided friendship.. as i said.. both of them are like blood sisters.. both the same kind one.. start new life and jus move on...) i guess i cannot count on her anymore.. like i used to last time.. as long as tt one dae the misunderstanding is nt cleared.. there will always be a gap between us... u can sae tt i am tinking too much... but to put this simply... hav u ever tot abt this b4? i am such an idoit...

Regrets... jus like one always do.. y cant things jus turn out the way i wan?

2005-06-28T08:11:00.000-07:00

Y does this always happen to me.. firstly, my CKT lab test i gone... i tink i failed my first test. Seconly, i fare badly for my maths test... see the smug face of him turns me off...(lucky i was nt there to see) thirdly, my hopes were dashed when i placed high hopes on my CKT quiz and it turned out to become a disappointment... i am so extremely sad... i dont mind being under smart or hardworking ppl.. but it feels so angry to noe that somebody who did nt turn up almost every single dae can do better than u.. eston said tt this kind of ppl wont last long.. but its jus so unfair... y? y cant things jus turn out the way tt i always wanted to... y things always go the opposite of wad i wan.. no matter hw much hard work i put in.. i dont get the results... i am so tired, exhausted u can sae... mentally and physically... everything i muz be below others.. y cant i shine.. u can sae tt i am pessimistic or wadsoever... i dont care... even she is gone nw.. sooner or later.. i dun tink i will ever sae also... its jus tt i dont wish to lose another friend anymore... i dont wan history to repeat anymore... i cannot pick up the courage to sae it to u cause i cherish friendship more than anything else... i am so tired... i wish i can jus fade away from this world without a sound, a trace... i am nw clinging on to this world desperately because of my parents.. they hav always high hopes on me but i always tend to disappoint them... i jus feel like i am in an aeroplane crashing down.. desperately holding on to my seat so tt i will nt be flinged away when the plane impacts the ground... life is jus so ironic... i tried to live optimistically.. but i will tend to fail every single time... its always so hard to pick myself up when i am down.. maybe wai sum is rite in saeing tt we always hurt those tt makes us smile but fight so hard for those tt makes us cry... i give up already... i onli wished tt nth has happened b4.. ignorance is bliss... i will nt interfer in ppl's life anymore... if u wan.. take the initiative to talk to mi.. i dun wish to be an obstacle in ur work or wadever.. i am so tired... damn tired tt i cant even walk straight...

Argh.. home alone for the 3rd dae.. at last.. mummy is coming home..

2005-06-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

At last.. my com is revived.. stupid virus.. made mi lose all my songs... hiaz.. i lost abt 544 songs sia.. heart pain.. zZz... lucky i still got some in my mp3 player.. if nt i die already.. LOL.. but like tt also nt bad.. at least nw i noe wad songs nice.. can dl back... last time download randomly one.. kaoZ.. all the sucky songs all come out.. so nw.. its all abt choices.. LOL.. i v scared tt i get caught sia.. even if one song fine 20 dollars or 1 dollar i also die...(do ur maths guys...) hiaz.. this is the third dae tt i am home alone.. todae go out wif fred and chunfeng to play pool(i still hav a feeling tt huiting dont like it.. HAHA...i promise nt to do it again.. LOLX) actually.. meet up wif them to talk and crap around wad.. so long nv see chunfeng.. and its a miracle.. chunfeng noes hw to play DOTA.. LOL.. even better than jerome..(jkjk.. jerome.. jia you wor..!) haha... thx to him.. we won..(hehe.. down tower is his credit.. killing is mine.. LOL.. reached whicked sick until run wrong way and die...zZz..) LOL.. but its ok.. at least we won.. hehe... so tired... eat japanese meal.. haha.. (i ate the breaded fish sara... hehehe^_^. it was so nice....wowow...) after tt i saw weixiong at the bus stop.. haha... he jus watched finish initial D and want to go his friend's hse to drink and look at girls...zZz.... then he hao lian his maths.. full marks..zZz.. talk to him sometimes waste of time.. but when u look at a guys point of view.. his quite a nice perons.. LOL.. but nt when u are in a rush.. he can be a bother sometimes.. HAHA... jkjk... *yawnzZz* so tired................. todae the whole dae i was jus trying to format my com and stuff.. dont even hav time to do my own things.. todae.. nth much lo.. then i jus found out tt the place where i got the "corn" is recovering.. but i still abit scared... lets jus hope the black lines i see are jus blood vessels... i wish.. i jus wish... i dont wish to go thru another surgery wif 16 injections.. zZz... tinking of it gives mi chills down my spine... haha.. end here lo... so ironic... i was actually tinking of u when i was eating bread.. tinking hw u said to mi tt spreading more butter on ur bread.. the more u spread the nicer it will be... hiaz.. i dont wish to tink abt it anymore.. jus leave it alone.. plz get out of my life.. i dont wan u to come along and jus sae tt u care abt mi and stuff... i am so tired to care abt it... take care my friends...

Argh... one bad thing comes along another...

2005-06-23T09:36:00.000-07:00

Hiaz... todae when for the undressing of the bandage.. reached there around 11.30pm.... but to be amazed...i woke up at 9.40am.. without an alarm clock or anything.. no disturbance or wadso ever..
i jus woke up(ok.. maybe to pee.. high tide ar...) but come to tink abt it.. i onli had 7 hours of slp.. and i did nt even take a nap at all.. (ok.. i did... err.. dozed off when i was counting d fund.. i was so tired tt i came up formulaes or my own.. LOLX.. cannot solve one.. but i dont noe y i still continue to count wif my own made formulae..HAHA)wa.. looks like i missed out alot of lessons todae.. hiaz.. so0 sad sia.. no choice but to study at home myself.. haha... well.. nobody is at home.. once again.. i am home alone.. sian.. they will onli be back on saturdae... and i tink at nite one.. they went KL.. i cannot contact them.. but mummy did call mi from overseas.. (going thru alot of difficulties.. she got thru at last... so glad to hear her voice..) i am going crazy at home.. i keep talking to the wall.. and furthermore.. todae i am nt myself.. i am damn motivated to study myself.. keep studying.. nt even tempted to play at all... maybe isolation is good for mi eh.. jus like the good old times.. when i lived alone.. haha.. so quiet the hse is.. but nvm.. i m used to it already.. LOLX... MY COM IS SPOIL... OMG.. AT A TIME WHEN I MOST NEEDED IT!! OMG... CANNOT PLAY MARTHON ANYMORE.. MY DREAMS AND HOPE ARE SHATTERED..Hope tt my com get well tml.. hope my uncle can make it.. sian sia... THIS SUX.. i am nt desperately using my dad's com.. seriously.. i reali need some1 to talk too... thanks to ting ting , carmen, wai sum, jennifer and huiting to talk to mi.. if nt.. i siao already.. LOL.. as for u.. i got nth to sae already.. i had already given up on.. although u constantly flashes up in my mind... i jus cant keep tinking hw stupid i am.. but this is mi... but jus one dae... plz get out of my life.. i hope no more ppl will be hurt like mi anymore... scars tt will nv heal...

ARGH!.. SO PAIN!!!

2005-06-22T09:13:00.000-07:00

Wa... todae finally.. gotten rid of wad i had hope to get rid of for the past 2 months.. finally.. a burden off my shoulders... todae i finally raised enuff courage to go for the minor surgery... well.. a moment of pain rather than prolong pain rite? i decided to eat before going for it.. cause i got a feeling tt its going to be so painful till i dont hav the appetite to eat anymore after the surgery.. well.. so i ate a plate of char kway teow.. lolx.. honestly.. it suck.. i dont noe y i often go there and eat when i was young.. but no choice.. dont reali got other food to eat already.. LOLX.. so calmly finished up my food.. then after tt proceeded inside the clinic.. waited for abt half an hour like tt.. then finally.. the time has come... enter the room where i see the doctor.. well.. she is a nice lady.. wif 7 kids.. (i heard tt from my mother one.. i nv see personally..haha.. but driving a MCV sure comes wif a big familiy...LOLX..) she greeted mi.. asked me wad happened and after tt said tt my "corn" was infected.. so called viral wart or something like tt.. zZz.. so she said tt i had to brace myself while she cuts the corn and let the "pus" inside leak out... well.. i dont like the word "brace" but i've got no choice but to do so.. haha... then after tt i proceeded to the next room to sit down on the bed.. v soon comes a attendant.. (she's quite pretty.. teehehe.. or shuld i sae.. CUTE?.. HAHA...) ok.. lets get this aside.. LOLX.. then the doctor starts coming in to peel off the skin of the "corn".. it hurts ok.. ok.. let mi explain wad is a "corn" first.. its a viral infection.. jus like ringworms and so on.. but it is grown normally on the sole of the feet.. furthermore.. mine is infected..(cause i nv take good care of it.. hehe...) so the feeling is jus like u placing a thumbtack on the floor and u jus keep stepping on it as u walk.. tt's the feeling.. walking wif toes everydae.. tt feeling sux okies.. nw still need to do tt a little.. cause it reali hurts.. so there she goes.. peeling off the skin with the tweezers.. or wadever tt u call tt.. and a scissors.. then applying the antiseptic lotion.. DETOL.. then after tt she goes out.. attending to the next patient.. hiaz.. the suspense is reali killing mi lo.. LOLX.. then suddenly the attendant comes in again.. this time she opens the cupboard and take out a syringe and a few bottles of medcine.. err... when i saw the syringe, my goosebumps start coming out.. i tot its onli one jab.. still nt so serious.. keep telling myself nt to worry about anything.. as long as i pulled thru tt one jab.. its over.. LOLX.. then she comes in.. and u noe wad did she sae..? she said " i am nt going to lie to u.. but this injection will reali hurts.." WOW..-_-"" tt's some facts.. at least she told mi the truth and i had some preparations for it.. well.. imagine.. those tt take BCG when we are primary 6.. did tt hurt? well.. as the sole of our feet have more nerve endings than most of the other body parts, the sensation of feelings are more stronger there.. so imagine.. something tt is more painful than BCG.. WOW.. but its ok.. cause i tink BCG onli got 1mml.. or something like tt.. well.. tt injection was filled wif anesatatic..(dunno hw to spell..) so she injected 4 times.. each time 0.5mml.. so tt the medcine can take effect faster.. wow.. i almost fainted? my head was spinning all along due to the pain.. then after tt she told mi to lie down.. and relax myself.. while we talked abt sch.. i told her wad i do in sch and so on.. blah blah blah.. until she keep proding mi wif the scissors... and ask mi whether its painful or nt.. well.. of course its painful lahz.. then she said tt the anesatetic has nt settled in yet.. so she asked mi to wait while she attends to the other patients... when she comes back.. she used the scissors to prod the corn again.. then of course, once again.. i dont feel any difference.. furthermore.. i feel more pain even when nobody touching it.. still suffering from the aftermath of the injection(i dare to sae i am a whim or a pampered kid.. but take a look at this ok.. i am nt tt type tt will scream and shout out of small matters... imagine this.. u are wide awake.. the somebody gives u 4 injections on ur wound.. furthermore.. keeps pulling out the dead skin surrounding ur wound..well.. hw does tt feel?) then once again.. she decided.. to do another injection of anestatic.. i was like ....-_-"""".. no choice.. its either pain nw or pain later.. so once again.. i braced myself to accept another 4 shots of injection.. ok... lets do some maths.. tt will be 8 shots of something like BCG injections.. by tt time i was already pale and breathless already.. cold sweat starts coming out from my legs and hands.. my limbs are already "cold" already.. due to the pain.. then my mother steps in... to take a look at the situation.. haha... mummy.. u are the best.. i luv u.. she comes in and encourages mi.. standing by my side and let mi hold her hand..(i almost crushed her hand due to the pain.. sry...) again.. this time when she goes in deeper of the "corn" the pain is more intense.. then again.. she decides to inject another 4 shots.. (for the courtesy of ppl who are lazy to count.. tt is 12 shots..) by tt time.. i was already like closing my eyes.. and the world is spinning.. i dont even hav the strength to sit up and watch the surgery anymore.. then she continues to pull and pull.. she saes tt my skin is too thick -_-".. then as she goes in and saes tt she can see the inside already.. she gave mi another 4 jabs...!!! ( tt's total 16 jabs altogether... normally.. ppl onli need 1 time.. -_-""" i need 16 times more than the others..) after tt 16 jabs.. tears welled out of my eyes continuously..(of course i am nt crying.. well.. reflex action?? i was in extreme pain..) then after tt she began wif the laser treatment.. well.. its something like a soldering iron.. i tink u guys noe wad i mean.. except tt the tip is a piece of wire.. by tt time i was already half-conscious.. or shuld i sae tt i am half dead... all i can see wif my half opened eyes are smoke rising.. and u are wondering.. where do u get smoke. the answer is tt she is using the thing to cut my skin.. in the process due to heat.. there is smoke produced.. OMG.. without the 16 shots.. i guess i may die already.. LOLX.. then after tt i tried to sit up and look.. cause i dont feel pain anymore.. the anestatic has kicked in.. then i was like half dead mode.. so i dont noe wad is she doing.. so i wanted to sit up and look.. but my mother asked mi to lie down... cause its nt reali the scene tt i wan to see.. she saes tt there is alot of blood and disgusting "pus".. as she was a nurse last time.. she was used to this scene.. and the attendant was like so afraid to even touch it.. so i guess its quite scary ba.. in 5 more mins.. she finished everything.. wad i see is onli a whole tray of bloody cotton wool and bloody gloves.. then the wound is dressed up.. finally, it is completed.. wow.. i sit up.. to find tt the whole bed is wet wif my pespiration.. and i still dont dare to walk properly.. although she told mi tt it is alrite to step on the ground... then i cannot even walk properly.. she was so nice to help mi massage my calve..so as to enhance the blood circulation.. meanwhile i waited outside to collect my medcine and medical certificate.. the pain is killing mi.. especially the four points where the 16 shots were injected.. on the way home.. i even need the support of my mum.. (mum.. i love u) haha.. tml they going to KL already.. once again.. i am home alone. but she jus cannot stop worrying abt mi.. haha.. they are afraid tt i nv take care of the wound and then it grows back again..*touch wood*.. i dont wan another repeat of this incident again anymore.. i hope daddy and mummy enjoy their holidae wor... haha... i going to miss sch.. doctor gave mi 2 daes MC cause she dont wan mi to walk around too much.. afraid tt the wound may tear and worsen again.. argh!.. i am going to miss a lot of important lessons.. drawing - i tink they are going to start using the computer to draw.. i wil miss tt first lesson... maths - i will miss functions... hiaz.. dont even understand.. Digital fundimental - i will miss the new topic i tink.. KAOZ..somemore i will miss the quiz.. hope tt the shanghai tutor will allow mi to take the quiz.. Pretty PLZZZZ? i wan my 10% of my CA! i miss my friends.. (except for those 2.. but due to improvement in conduct.. they are alrite nw.. at least they nv sae anything..) miss all my friends.. all my secondary sch friends.. sry but u are nt included in the list.. i dont even give a damn whether u are reading this or nt.. u stupid hypocrite.. i reali regret the time tt i spend wif u.. complete waste of time... jus get out of my sight for nw.. so much abt caring for u in the past and encouraging u... nw u moved on and there is no need to care abt old friends anymore..? u may give the excuse tt ur handphone spoil, v busy, father use handphone.. like i care? do u tink i give a damn abt it? as for v busy.. dont give mi tt excuse.. there is a v simple thing called the sms.. the first s stands for "short".. well.. since its short.. can u reply mi when u go to the toilet, in between breaks and so many other times.. but did u? NOOOOOOO. u did nt.. so for nw.. jus get out of my sight.. i dont wish to see u anymore.. plz.. dont drag ur boyfriend into this.. dont make mi hate him also.. i shall stop here.. so late le.. 2.55am.. take care my friends...(ps.. hi jerome)

Hiaz.. todae somehow sux.. mixed feelings..

2005-06-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

Todae was another completely nice dae.. but i reali dont hav the mood to do anything.. so depressed.. firstly.. it was the maths test.. argh.. i shuld hav followed my instincts.. but pity.. which i did nt.. so i already lost 18 marks out of 40.. i dont tink i can reali score like the last time anymore..(well.. although maths is nt my core.. but i tink tt at least if i put in effort.. i will do well too.. actually to tell u the truth.. i suck at science when i was in sec 3... so dont come along and sae tt i got talent in science tt's y i can do so well..) argued wif my mother over a trival matter todae.. which i shuld nt.. i always cant comprehen y i am treating her like tt.. but sometimes wad she saes at the moment is jus so sickening..(i am so sick of complaining..) when she complains.. all the sarcastic remarks all come out..(i cant stand tt...) so in a fit of anger.. i argued wif her.. i am reali sry.. i shuld nt be doing tt.. todae lesson i wasnt even there.. my body is there.. but my mind is nt.. tinking abt alot of things.. my mind will suddenly drift away... actually i was paying attention.. then i will slowly drift away... by the time i notice tt i drifted away.. the teacher is already at another section.. problems which i am unable to solve though.. so i guess i muz put it down.. tell u guys wad.. i hav a bad feeling though.. tt history will repeat itself.. its the same thing tt happened quite recently.. although nt reali recently.. tinking of ways to avoid it.. and ppl starts giving mi the cold shoulders..(well.. i told u so sara.. nw is the ans y i wanted to avoid her in the first place.. cause i reali cannot stand the feeling of ppl avoiding mi.. i rather avoid tt person tt let the person avoid mi.. well.. at least i hav some prepartions..i totally give up on tt person.. well.. maybe our "friendship" is jus worth like tt.. haha.. in simple terms.. our relation is jus like the song by sylvester sim - suo yi..)( cant put the lyrics here guys.. sry.. blog translate all the wrong words)"http://www.geocities.com/musicpara/SylvesterSim.htm#suoyi" <-- look from there.. although i dont like him singing.. but its quite touching.. cause it reflects perfectly on the "friendship" tt we had.. i was tinking tt when can i stop whining and complaining abt the troubles tt i hav to my friends.. maybe i may like this lifestyle tt i am going thru nw.. jus shut up and listen to wad others got to sae.. make no friends nor enemies.. jus go along wif ur life.. anyways. i dont hav the capability to make the ppl around mi happy..(i dont wish to burden others anymore... i dont wish to hurt myself anymore.. i am nt trying to sae tt i am perfect and i can nag at others.. perharps this is the last time i will lament abt all this.. so sick and tired of everything..ppl who read this can sae anything tt they wan.. i jus trying to sae wad i feel..) nw i onli can count on the last person.. if that person also left mi.. then i tink there is no more reasons to make friends anymore.. maybe i am jus a loner.. stand alone and walk alone..

Meaningful words..

2005-06-14T23:45:00.000-07:00

You have been hurt by unspeakable pain and sadness,
Lets carry each other's indelible stains,
Dont give up on living!
i held ur hand,
Will i end up losing u someday?
I wan to protect you and your fading smile,so...
Even if the resounding voice calling mi should wither..
Even if the mingling winds shall tell me..
I WILL FIND YOU!
You have been hurt by unspeakable pain and sadness, but..
Dont say things like "i cant laugh" or "i hate people",
There's meaning in everything that happens in the unforseen future,
So stay as you are for now, i know there'll come a time when you realise it.
You and me, two are spoken
Someday we will understand each other..

Haha.. this is the 4 week of my sch.. if i am nt wrong.. LOLX..

2005-06-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

Wow.. time passes so quickly.. this shuld be my fourth week in the polytechnic.. sry for nt blogging so long.. KaOz.. quite busy these few daes..LOLX... or sorta lazy these daes.. keep tinking abt studies.. i reali dont wish to repeat any of my subjects.. seriously.. i dont wan to waste time taking the subjects which i can pass in one go.. anyway.. i dont wish to make empty promises again to my parents and disappoint them anymore.. so i shall cherish my chances and work v v v hard... i dont wan them to worry abt mi... these few weeks.. went for rugby training.. learn hw to pass and hw to actually play the game..(well.. i certainly wan to make it into the contact team.. cause i reali suck at touch rugby... i so big size.. BLEAHZ) *pray hard* tt i make it into the team.. i reali wan to play rugby!!!!!!!!!! it ROX!!!) haha... the guys are so friendly.. AND BTW.. I MADE MORE FRIENDS..LOLX..anyhw rite??? lolx... cause i at the rugby the coach keep calling mi "big size" BLEAHZ... i dont reali like it.. but no choice.. cause cannot blame him also ma.. he dont noe our name also.. LOLX.. fred kinda of disappointed.. cause he tinks tt he cannot make it into the team then he also abit half hearted to join rugby already.. he is going cause i am going. HAHA.. as for bernard.. i dont noe where he is already.. i dont tink his tt kinda of guy tt will commit himself into a CCA.. LOLX... well.. as for my class.. i am beginning to see the true colours of the whole class.. every single ones... there is another guy which i can add to my IDOITS' LIST... LOLX... HE IS RANKED NUMBER 1.. SO FAR.. HE KEEPS GIVING PPL NAMES AS IRRITANTS.. HAV U EVER TOT TT IF U CALLED PPL IRRITATING? U MUZ BE MORE IRRITATING TO NOTICE TT HE IS IRRITATING? cannot stand him sia... to be more surprising.. i like the malays in my class. they are quite nice ppl... although older than mi... i like them.. haha... andre is a nice guy.. good listener.. LOLX... i seldom praise guys.. overall... i am still so sad tt i cannot reali blend in.. as in mix around in groups in secondary school.. LOLX.. cause everydae.. after sch.. if there is nth on.. i will rush home and do homework.. LOLX(i am advance by everyone at least by 2 tutorials in every subjects, so tt's y u can see mi here!!) i sort of felt tt i am being left out... cause after class they always plan to go and play pool and enjoy themselves.. go and play badminton, tennis and hang around at the student lounge.. but i reali dont hav the mood to do tt... nw i noe hw u feel saraphina.. LOLX..i will try to mix around.. maybe it jus takes time.. HAHA.. jus like hw i forgot abt u.. i dont hav anymore feelings for u anymore.. well.. we shuld a look ahead and walk on.. no use looking back and hav full of regrets.. haha.. i jus wish tt u enjoy ur life and stay happy... sry to use u huiting..u shuld noe wad i mean.. HAHA... i am in a good mood todae.. LOLX.. ACCDENTALLY IN LOVE!!!!! HAHA... TAKE CARE MY FRIENDS.. LESSONS AT 10AM TML...

Haha.. todae go out...

2005-06-04T09:31:00.000-07:00

Wow.. todae was the dae i was anticipating for a v long time.. haha... this is the first break tt i had given myself since the start of my poly life.. well.. its definetely v stressed.. 2 great examples are eileen and huiting.. lolx.. their projects or assignment alot sia.. lolx... i tink even more then my questions of my homework..lolx.. hiaz... nw still quite alrite lahz.. haven reach their extend yet.. i believe as long as i am advance in my homework.. there will be nth wrong wif mi.. even if one dae i decide to slack on an extremely heavy schedule dae.. i can afford to do tt.. furthermore.. doing advance homework can ensure tt i keep abreast of wad the teacher is teacher.. more easy to remember wad he teach after the lesson.. haha... enuff of homework!! talk abt our outing todae.. haha... actually i jus wanted to walk around.. check out wad's new.. most importantly..WATCH MADAGASCAR!!! haha.. i waited for tt show for a v long time already... anticipating it for a v v v long time.. finally watched it... reali nice.. damn funny.. huiting said i laugh damn loud.. i also nv notice.. but reali.. i am v v happy todae.. haha.. finally.. a gathering where the 4 of us met up.. haha... mummy v gorgeous eh...(huiting said u look more like a adult then a poly student..well.. we are all almost adult.. haha... furthermore.. u are older then mi by one year.. eh.. shuan.. dont be jealous ar.. i praise onli.. dont mean anything hor..bleahZ)... huiting keeps complaining abt her hair.. she looks nice lahz.. then she keep touching her ulcer.. make mi feel painful also.. *ouch*.. haha... as for saraphina... to mi.. like no difference lehz??? dunno?? haha... or oops.. did nt even notice??( but reali wad.. looks like no change also.. haha.. if got chance then tell mi... dont wan u to change anyway.. like the way u are nw.. haha...) the show was nice.. the dinner was nice..(but i tink i ate too much.. bleahZ.. getting fatter and fatter...) eat volcano ramen.. nt reali hot.. but the chilli seeds make my scalp itch alot sia... cannot withstand the temptations to scratch my head...zZz... then eat soft shell crab, eat baby octopus, eat fried prawns, eat tako, eat terriyaki chicken, eat fried tofu, eat dumplings.. tt's abt it le lahz..(u see saraphina.. i can remember perfectly u noe).. btw.. if u are reading this.. i reali dont believe tt u wont touch liqour in ur whole life... haha.... seriously...) nth much le.. haha... walked around.. also nv see anything new.. hiaz.. well.. this concludes my break todae.. so recharged and new, i shall chiong again!!! YAH!!! CHIONG AR!!!!!!!! haha... everyone is happy, i am happy... v long nv like tt already.. todae is a great dae.. haha... well... so we are left wif one person.. who is nt happy.. lots of problems... lots of doubts on wad to do.. well.. no matter wad happens.. i reali hope tt u can stay happy.. forget all the troubles and concentrate in ur work.. ur priority this year is ur o levels okies?? study hard.. got anything jus feel free to call mi... HAHA.. take care everyone.. Luv u all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHA

WAH.... MY LEGS ARE BROKEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-05-31T06:47:00.000-07:00

NoNnoNoNnoonONonOnOnoNono..... after one session of rugby training.. my legs are half broken... cant reali walk fast(dont even talk abt running), cannot jump high..(nt bad lahz.. at least still can jump alot of times...) but i reali reali cannot bend down... its like i will suddenly lose control over my legs and then fall down like tt.. zZz... this is onli the first training session man... kaoZ.. see so many ppl tt i dont like there(my primary school friends) they suddenly like dont noe mi.. there are onli 2 causes for this...1. i hav grown a matured face..(ar... this is like abit crap??) 2. they are guility for the things tt they had done in primary school and dont dare to approach mi... nvm.. i will get them during my rugby training.. hehe^_^... but there is jus one problem... or i mean two problems.. first one... the guy told mi tt by the time the third training.. half the ppl i see on the first session will leave the team already.. (this means good and bad news for mi.. the good news is.. if i bite on and dont let go... i may end up as one of the member of the TP rugby team... the bad news is.. i am afraid i cant hold on...) but something tells mi the guy is abit scaring mi.. cause i see the captain of the group.. cant even do pushups properly...(maybe its all in the running... zZz.. their thighs are the size of my circumference of my head..kaoZ...) the second problem... i am unable to wear contacts... cause my eyes sensitive... i will blink the moment the lens enter my eyes.. then nw i cannot wear specs during training.. or it will end up as trash metal... zZz... then hw? take off during training.. and i cannot see clearly wad is going on.. hiaz.. this reali makes mi wan to choose other CCA sia.. sianZzzZ.. but until this reali gets on my nerves.. i will then select a next CCA.. something tells mi tt i shuld nt be giving up easily in my life... i hav to stick to the decisions tt i make... (i dont care.. even if freddie quit rugby.. i will still stick to it!!..as for bernard... i dont tink he even wans to join.. cause he see us join then he will see friends there.. but his brothers call him onli.. he fly away already..LOLX..) haha... i reali hope tt the weekend come faster... haha... we are going out together at last.. HAHAHA...hope mummy makes it.. HAHA... wah.. reali reali looking forward to relax and jus slack... jus one dae plz.. god.. fufill my wish.. hehe^_^ *fingers crossed* hoping to catch up wif them.. HAHA.. take care my friends.. back to my homework.. i guess the break was used to blog.. miss u all^_^

The First Week Of Sch Has Passed... At Last, Weekend Has Come!!...

2005-05-27T09:26:00.000-07:00

Haha.. i was absolutely beat up... haha... who ask mi.. watch anime everydae... HAHA... then slp v late at nite..then wake up half dead in the morning... LOLX.. met all my teachers for the week already.. quite balanced lahz.. my timetable, HAHA... late in the mondae, tuesdae and thursdae.. wednesdae and fridae go home early.. HAHA... i joining rugby.. hope i can get in the rugby team after the trials...(NT LIKE MAURICE.. FAILED HIS TENNIS TRIALS AND THEN BLAME TT THERE ARE TOO MANY PROS IN THE SCH.. LOLX... I TINK HIS GOING TO FAIL GOING INTO THE DEBATERS TEAM... HIS GOING TO CRAP TO MI AGAIN... I CAN VOUCH FOR IT!(SATISFIED?) "EAT POTATO GUY" BLEAHZZZZZ) Mi, bernard and freddie are going for it.. haha.. hiaz.. no other CCA tt interest mi..LOLX... so bernard and freddie decided to stick wif the cca tt i am going to join... actually there are 3 choices.. dragon boat, archery and rugby.. i was tinking.. dragon boat.. i muz dedicate alot of time to train and all... then year 3 i will be struggling to study and train... so i most probably wil fail somewhere and some subjects.. sianZzZ.. of course i dont wan tt...(my dad is working v hard to support my stay there.. i am sure i dont wan to disappoint him...) then option number 2.. archery... after buying the all the equipment, like the bow, and stuff... its going to cost mi a bomb.. wel.. it will nt serve the purpose also.. i was trying to save money also.. so the last option, rugby.. haha... i dont wan to go water polo lahz.. after so many years soaking in the water...NONO to life-saving... i am so sick of water.. HAHA... so land.. here i come. haha... but hope tt the corn on my leg can heal faster.. haha... then can run... F*** u.. i dont tink u are v good lor.. stupid asshole.. dont tink tt u are a cook, u big F... so wad if i like to eat... nbcb... i eat cannot mehz... nned u to care abt mi? f***ed up attitude asshole... hao lian everything... "i got big and strong arms"... wah kaoZ... plz lor... ur biceps big mehz? kaoZ.. i tink my triceps bigger than ur biceps.. u bloody loser.. everything also wan to volunteer.. so be it lahz... dont give the excuse tt my triceps big cause i keep eating... i tink i can even do things tt u cannot lor.. play basketball lor.. swimming or anything.. lay down the challenge man dude.. u are such a loser tt i dont tink u can beat mi in anything.. perharps.. jus perharps.. u may beat mi in one with sheer luck... so after proving this.. can u please stfu? get the F out of my sight man.. one dae.. i may jus kick ur sorry ass until u wish tt u were nv borned.... although violence is nt the way to solve this problem... but we all hav our own limits... other friends tt are nt like him.. i will like to bless u all.. my class rox!!!(except for the guy above) LOLX... take care my friends...

Haha... sch start lo... so tiring...

2005-05-25T06:47:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA... sch finally started.. still trying to get used to it.. todae is the second dae... everything is alrite.. going fine.. getting along well wif my class... so far so good.. i noe everything tt the teacher teach.. haha.. at least my teeny weeny of hard work paid off... duing the holidaes..hehe.. although i play more than i study... hehe... so tiring.. nt used to sch life ba.. all of us all owls.. used to play DOTA until wee hours in the morning then go and slp.. then after tt wake up at 12pm or 1pm.. maurice the worst one... kaoZ... dead zombie.. wake up at 4pm.. lolx.. 3/4 of the dae... <--- completely waste of time... btw... MY CLASS ROX!!!!!!!!! especially todae's APEL lesson.. haha... so fun...i nv had so much fun and laughter in a lesson except P.E... maybe more fun then P.E(^_^).. cannot talk much already... nt much time to blog though.. lolx.. especially when all the test comes..kaoZ... i can forsee tt my head burst already... wondering hw jie sheng handles JC life.. wan to see the look on his stressed face during his "A" levels man... kaoZ.. later i go to his sch and find him.. ppl jus come and tell mi... " u go look around... find a guy wif completely white hair and a v stressed face studying... most probably at the library or a quiet spot"...LOLX... i can already forsee this in my head.. at least he learned hw to open up.. which is a good thing.. cause he "quite" anti social in secondary sch...:P haha.. todae while waiting for freddie i saw so many ppl tt i noe.. (hey... looks like i hav many friends afterall...) *takes a deep breath* i saw the malay guy when i worked at expo...(i call him explosive hair... eileen and huiting shuld noe whose tt...)i tink his in business course... then i saw 2 of my tuition friends.. one called chun chuan,from my pure physics and pure chem tuition class... the other one i forgot his name.. but his from my chinese tuition class.. wa... golden hair flying all over the place...(wess call him hong kong brother...).. then saw carmen(hope i spelt correctly...) from B.U.M.. she siao one.. see mi sitting there... then at first she tot she see wrong person.. then she look again.. then she keep laughing at mi.. LOLX... i forgot to ask for her contact again...(way xiong... stop saeing i like her.. u stupid gay..) i saw him also <------ almost everydae see him one lahz... same course wad... then i saw bernard and wess... saw joyce and her friend... dunno whos tt.. but from bedok green also...i saw wen hui, eugene, haikal and lennard... haha... *exhales*... but out of so many ppl.. i still nv see hui ting...(my dear gal... where are u???? buy book.. buy book.. run home without mi.. make mi so guilty cause i cannot make it for the breakfast todae morning...) such a busy scedule... i dont care.. saraphina finish her mid year we all muz go out.. haha.. i v long time nv walk around le.. watch madacasgar!!!!!!!!!! haha... hiaz.. stop here bah... all my friends are doing well.. i am so glad tt they are... except for one though.. i also dont noe whether i consider it as a friendship... but we had once a friendship.. almost a "kinship".. sad to noe tt u had changed so much... we are nt like b4 anymore... anyways.. i hope to change u... take carezZz everyone.. HAHA....

KaoZzz.. orientation sux...

2005-05-20T06:48:00.000-07:00

Omg... after 3 terrible daes.. i was so glad tt i survived it... so much abt talking big and trying to escape it... (to all bedok greenians and my friends... who escaped the orientation... watch out cause for the 2nd and 3rd dae... they marked attendance twice.. which means..u will be questioned where u went.. so to does without a valid reason... gd luck guys...) well... it totally sux!...i was wasting my time there... they do bo liao things which we are nt even interested in doing... then they all so enthu until all shout till no voice.. but i still nt interested... i reali pity them sia.. lolx... actually.. i was v fortunate to be in this class... kaoZ... i look at other class.. all attitude one sia... but there is jus one problem... to mi.. i dont see it as a problem.. but to the rest of the guys.. it seems to be a big problem... cause the class is 100% guys... tt means.... if u turn north, south, east, west... u will see guys...(dont worry.. i am straight...lolx) but lucky for us... there is a bunch of galz at the side of our class.. the business process class...haha... our teacher is great... as in the care person of our class... SHE ROX MAN!... although she seem like a nice women.. shes gulible and so on... but i tink she has a great temper... lolx.. dont wan to try tt... and i was made the social representative..lolx.. which means tt i am responsible for making outings for the class during the holidaes and during care group sessions... which means.. somehow or another.. we get to go out during "lesson" time..hehe... tt is jus so great... lolx... in my class.. we got all sorts of ppl.. lolx... all sorts of character.. maybe it jus adds spicy to the life.. lolx.. i hope tt we can get along wif each other.. all the craps and other stuff... u guys are great.. haha...i shall stop here.. hehe... some things are to be kept to myself.. kaoZ.. the orientation made mi so tired.. kaoZ.. almost got banged down by car... next time i reali muz be careful... i am nt going to jaywalk anymore...the car also stupid... dunno how to turn... btw... jennifer... happy birthdae to u.... sincerly hope tt u will study hard and take care of urself.. hope tt u remain happy forever... let ur troubles go and u will be more free.. sometimes troubles can jus be let go...i noe its nt easy.. but i will always be there for u when u need mi.. hehe... friends forever...

Another dae has passed.. we shuld praise the lord for everydae of my life....

2005-05-16T06:27:00.000-07:00

well.. todae was so called another "wonderful and perfectly" normal dae... haha... well... todae i hav attempted the silent treatment to everyone... tt means when ppl scold mi, i will choose to remain silent and sae nth... at first it worked... but my mother scolded mi and felt odd.. at first..then after tt, she began to enjoy it... repeating over and over again.. its ok... i kept it all inside of mi... nt to sae anything.. she can sae wadever she wans.. well.. even my friends vent their anger on mi... i dont mind u venting angers on mi... but plz dont ignore mi or said tt i ignored u... i cannot take tt.... they can sae all they like for all i care... my mum... seeing tt i did nt sae anything when she scolded mi, go and complain all the things to my dad...(she's starting to enjoy it...) she go and complain all the things i did lor... cause yesterdae i ate with bernard at 85 until 5 a.m then reach home.. my dad didnt noe anything abt it... until then when he go and walk wif my mum..then now when he suddenly step in the door.. he started scolding mi for using the com.. started throwing my things on the ground.. well... i still chose to remain silent and pray tt they will calm down... they hav no idea how much they are hurting mi... when i sae something, they will use it back against mi... i am always in the wrong... always the stupid one who does nt use the common sense... maybe i am starting to like this "silent treatment".. cause as long as i dont talk.. ppl cannot do anything to mi.. as long as i dont hav expressions on my face.. ppl cannot do anything to mi... well.. ppl can vent their anger on mi for all i care.. as long as they are happy and contented tt they do tt.. i am satisfied.. i sincerly praise the god tt nobody is injured or killed todae... as long as tt dont happens.. tt will be my defination of a perfectly normal dae.. well.. pray hard tt everyone has no problems at all already.. i am begining to look on the brighter side.. and finding out tt my life isnt worth so much at all.. but look at all my friends.. they all hav bright futures ahead of them.. so y nt sacrifice mi so tt they can pursue their goals.. i hav already thought it already... since i hav no goals, ambition or anything... y be a hinderance to the rest and then make them worry abt mi... my onli goal now is to see all my friends be successful and be happy in life.. and healthy always to my parents so tt they can live to a long age... other than tt.. i dont wish for anything much... jus let mi live my daes peacefully jus like every normal dae.. i am serious v v v contented....

Moods...

2005-05-15T08:25:00.000-07:00

Anger - (noun) The strong feeling that you have when something has happened or somebody has done something that you dont like. (verb) To cause somebody to become angry.
Angry - (adj) feeling or showing anger(at/about) something.
Taken from oxford wordpower dictionary... as it states clearly the explanation there these 2 commonly used english word(actually nt v commonly used lahz.. but cannot jus let mi bluff abit mehz?) well.. the purpose of it so tt i can explain these 2 words.. i guess u guys are v clear wad these 2 words mean rite?( if nt.. plz read? kaoZ.. make so much effort to put it there and u nv read... are u blind?) as it states "somebody has done something tt you dont like" well.. this is jus one fine dae where "somebody has done nth wrong and ppl dont like" (wad is this world coming to?) lolx... sit at the sofa and daze also my fault sia.. one come and scold mi for lazying at home...(since when nt going out was my fault?).. craps abt mi getting fatter and fatter...(ok.. the fat part is nt crap.. i am fat..(^_^)) ppl get headache i take the scolding... well? i am jus an instrument of anger.. vent ur anger on me so tt ur dae can be much better.... well... have anyone tot of my feelings before? u are a human, i am a human.. if life sux for u? if u got a bloody headache.. muz u scold mi? muz u shout at mi? muz u scream at the top of ur lungs when i am right beside u? do u noe tt u make mi wan to take the knife in the kitchen and place it right in ur head?( tt will most probably end ur headache).. humans hav feeling u noe.. its alrite for u guys to vent ur anger on mi... i dont mind.. then i see all sorts of pattern.. 1. vent anger at u and then ignore u... 2. find an excuse to vent the anger on u jus because something u said or u do(when u hav said nth wrong or done nth wrong)...3. jus do it(means.. no excuses.. no reasons.. jus vent anger on u).. 4. use authority...( so wad if u are my parents and are stressed up at work? does this mean i muz take ur stress and worries? wad rights do u hav) 5. my presense irritates u(OMG.. tt is one total crap).. even if i am actually an instrument without feelings... jus like a cylinder... and anger is hot water.... when u fill mi up... there will still be 2 causes... 1. too much water tt it overflows... 2. the hot water cracks the glass... well.. now lets change it back to a human being..1. overflow = too much... suddenly burst of adreline and anger.. starts scolding everyone for no reason( used to be like tt... but maybe controlled it.. cause i tink tt its reali unfair to my friends.. sry dudes...) 2. cracks = breakdown.... well.. maybe i am still too early to sae tt... its ok.. regardless of wad happens.. i will remain in silence.. anyway... who noes wad will happen to mi? lolx... see mi in the newspaper headlines? nahZ.. nt so stupid to do tt.. telling friends will give them more troubles and worries... so y do tt? keep it to myself.. take control.. anyway.. my friends already hav their own problems.. maybe if i could jus take all the punishment and after tt everyone around mi will be happy.. i will eventually be happy too... lolx.. but i am imperfect after all.. (whos nt..mr or miss perfect please fill free to call my phone and leave a message at the tagboard.. i will reali wan to meet u..) i jus need time to adjust.. lolx.. mummy... dont be sad anymore.. we shuld aways look on the bright side of life like we always do... u sae tt u are sad when u see mi in this state... then i am sure i will also be sad to see u in this state.. so cheer up... as for my daughter.. i am sure tt u are v busy and work is taking a toll on u.. so learn to relax... haha... i noe life sux.. but we stil got a long way to go... let nature take its course.... haha... take care the both of u... as for miss saraphina.. plz put in good effort for ur exams.. we will be waiting for u to celebrate together cause i reali need one( or actually WE need one), nt giving u stress but giving u support.. jia you wor... haha... lastly.. i reali reali hope u can take care of urself... i hope he take care of u well too.. if nt.. i will be after him.. he shall pay a drop of blood for every drop of ur tears(lolx.. i sound like i am some kind of psycho killer.. kaoZ.. i am nt tt cruel lor) but i am seriously going to pay if he makes u cry again...

I am Back here again...

2005-05-14T13:10:00.000-07:00

Haha... now the time is 3.58a.m(15-5-2005).. suffering from a sleepless nite again.. lolx.. well.. i dont reali hav much time to enjoe though..(although i haven been enjoying myself much) but i tink tt this holidae.. too many things happened in a v v short period of time... too many problems can actually drive u crazy.. this holidae has let me to learn to be more optimistic.. things are nt always in ur way... sometimes.. obstacles are there so tt it can make u stronger dae by dae.. thx mummy for being there when i needed u.. i tink i can solve my problems myself.. dont worry too much abt mi.. i am eating well and living well.. u muz take care of urself and stay happy.. u dont look too bright also.. muz be having alot of troubles deep inside of u.. i can reali sense it.. well.. if u read this, feel free to call mi anytime... my phone has been temporary revived... Muahahaha... thx alot of ppl... including vone and so on... thx for being there when i needed u all... i sincerly hope tt u will be happy too... hiaz..sae until like i going to die like tt.. lolx.. for those who noe mi.. i am lazy to blog both sides...(although i jus copy and paste onli.. nt much effort.. but still LAZY.. lolx) u will noe where to find mi.. hehe(^_^) (BTW.. its already stated in the first blog.. so guys.. plz READ?) hope tt my final problem can be quickly resolved.. now the problem is whether to continue this friendship or nt.. no matter wad harsh words i used.. the door will always be open to u to start another new friendship.. but if u dont.. then its ok... i will regret losing such a good friend like u... (i am sure u dont regret losing such a selfish person like mi).. well... i hav nt much close friends beside mi anymore.. ppl sae tt poly life changes tt... but i am nt exactly tt excited to start my poly life? but life got to go on... its still far better than staying at one spot.. even nomads move on to find a more abundant land.. so we shuld too... learn more knowledge so and to be a help to our society in the near future(nahZ... jus pulling ur leg... do u tink i am so serious???? esp the last part.zZz...anyway. i dont dig philosphy...) so far... i hav regreted all my decisions i had made in my life.. sometimes when i look back.. i feel so stupid... but wad to do.. this is me... there is nt i can do... tt's y i will like to turn back the hands of time if i actually could..(who dont?) hiaz.. well.. i still got a long way to lose tt stupid temper of mine.. and always tinking i am right attitude.. i noe some ppl out there will like to gloat abt my mistakes.. so be it... i m imperfect after all... (who's nt) hiaz.. stop here le.. better get to slp b4 my parents come hunting mi... and later tomolo cannot wake up = die le... hehe... take care my friends...

....

2005-05-13T07:51:00.000-07:00

Well... these 2 daes hav turned for a teeny weeny better.. but my phone is spoiled.. so guys.. dont bother calling mi... cause u are going to hear "sorry, the number that u have jus dialled is currently unavailable. please try again later"... hiaz.. completely broke.. no money to get a new one... so meanwhile stuck at home.. trying to save and at the same time finding other means to scoop money out of nowhere.. like for example.. "eugene still owes mi 20 bucks.." hehe... chill man... jus jking.. relax.. hiaz.. hope life continues to turn for the better.. reali glad tt eveyone around mi is turning for the better... to mi.. life is like a piece of artwork... ppl around u add colours to ur life.. they had certainly done it... she went the colour fades away.. u muz try ur best to colour it back again.. so tt it can once again be admired by the thousands and millions...i jus cannot understand y a friendship is jus broken apart jus like tt... i dont see the meaning in it... does first impression reali counts to u... if u reali like ignoring mi so much.. so be it.. i am nt going to f***ing care.. i dont give a damn... so much abt all ur lies for being there for u when u need mi... where am i where u actually needed some1? where are u when i needed some1? are those i assume ur empty promises... if u are busy u are busy... if u are nt u are nt... please dont come up wif stupid excuses tt u need to attend to this and tt... i am nt tt sickening and irritating lor... if u reali dont wan to talk to mi onli.. u can jus come and tell mi tt u dont wan to talk to mi.. and block mi for all i care.. u can even delete mi as a contact... the gap is widen apart... ppl sae i do nt take the initiative to close the gap.. well.. honestly did i tried? i have given up.. anyway u got ur own grp of great friends and i got mine.. i have nv been so disappointed in my life b4... u can blame mi for being selfish.. but enuff is enuff... u can blame mi for all the reasons in the world.. i am nt going to care...

Life Truly Sux Alot...

2005-05-10T00:41:00.000-07:00

Well.. i am jus plain bored.. so decide to blog again... life simply sux... everything is turning upside down.. well... lets take yesterdae for a great example.. 4a.m in the morning..9/5/2005... woke up from a nitemare... dreamt tt i had lost everyone in my life... woke up with pespiration all over mi... cannot fall asleep anymore.. so i woke up and bathe... when i was bathing.. woke my father up.. get scolded... (take note.. how many times.. first time.. at 4.24a.m) for disturbing him from his sleep as he needs to go to work on tt dae.. its ok.. i bathe and silently go out and lie on the couch.. tinking of random events... until 6am.. where he is getting ready for his work.. scold mi again...(2nd time) for no cherishing time to slp.. then later complain to him tt my eyes pain and so on.. lack of slp and tired and so on..(since when i was complaining this to him?) its ok.. he went off to work.. i was still lying on the couch... relaxing.. until morning... 11am.. my mum went to buy breakfast for mi.. got scolded again...( 3rd time) she scold mi for spoon feeding mi everytime.. its ok.. after my breakfast... i go and on my computer.. trying to find something to do to beat this boredom.. then she comes in and scold mi again... (4th time) scodl mi for wasting electricity cause when later i will leave the computer on when i go and bathe... she is also afraid tt the computer will overheat and burn the whole house down... its ok.. i go and bathe.. then after tt go and see doctor.. due to tt painful "corn" on the sole of my feet...so we headed to the polyclinic.. once again... attempted to argue with my whether to take bus or to walk there..when we reach the bus stop then she suddenly said tt walking is nearer..(5th time) once again.. since we are already at the bus stop.. we take bus.. reach there at the polyclinic.. waited for my turn and registration = 1 hr.. meanwhile i went to the toilet... and wash my legs and hands.. i saw an old lady in the male toilet... then suddenly she grabbed my hand and speak to mi in dialect... i dont even understand wad she is trying to sae... but as i wan to proceed to the cubicle she dont wan to let mi go.. so later the cleaner came in and explain to her tt this is the male toilet.. and finally when i asked the cleaner wad she had said... he told mi tt she said tt i was trying to peep at girls in the toilet.. (6th time) scolded for entering the male toilet and wash my hands.. finally.. its my turn to see the doctor... i went in... and she said 3 sentence to mi... in chinese.. "hi, are u Tan zihao?", "wad happened to u", "ok.. its a "corn", please proceed to the counter to make payment" she said tt in chinese.. (for those who noe mi... my chinese sux...) so i asked her again.. where shuld i go? then once again she said tt "chim chim" sentence... well.. u already noe wad is going to happen rite? i got scolded by my mum again(7th time) for not clarifying where to go and wad to do... ok... tt 3 sentence jus caused mi $4.70? no medcine or anything... its still alrite.. proceeded to the counter to make an appointment for the removal of the "corn"... then the lady there told mi tt it has to be at geylang poly clinic.. on 1/9/2005...(excuse mi... if i had to wait till tt date.. i rather die?.. as the pain is already killing mi right now?) its ok... paid $4.70 and wasted 1 and a half hr of my time... so my mother asked mi whether i wan to see another doctor or not..(note: SHE ASKED ME) then i said "ok.. i wan to see another doctor..." SHE SCOLDED MI(8th time) for wasting her money... "do u tink i print money huh? everytime see doctor.."(err... excuse mi? u asked mi whether i wan to see another doctor and this is wad i get?" so we proceeded to find our family doctor at blk 123.. at least he is better, he said more things.. he taught mi how to remove the "corn" by using the corn plaster.. (hope this works.. i dont wan to go thru the "operation") .. well.. wad can i sae... the more he speaks, the more expensive it gets.. $23.00... give mi 4 types of medcine.. and go home.. soon.. my dad return from work... i was in the room, and he is talking to my mum.. the suspense is killing mi.. when am i going to get scolded again? nobody spoke to mi at all.. then suddenly.. my dad came in and scolded mi (9th time) "y tt time when the corn drop out... u muz put tt stupid "green" medcine.. "qing cao you" then everything will be solved.. then now go and see doctor and spend so much moeny.. u happy already lahz..." so after tt we all had dinner.. and he and mum go out for a walk and buy stuff... at last i can hav peace.. as i was alone at home.. then at abt 9pm.. they came back... then mum prepared warm water for me to soak my legs so tt i can stick the plaster after soaking in the warm water.. it is supposed to make the "corn" soft and easy to peel out.. THIS IS THE FUN PART----> when i was sitting down in the toilet.. soaking my feet.. my dad cannot find the torchlight as he needs to repair the telephone.. cause it's spoiled.. HE SCOLDS ME FOR MISPLACING HIS TORCHLIGHT?(10th time).. then meanwhile soaking my feet.. i told mum tt the water is too hot for me... HE SCOLDS ME AGAIN..." Y ARE U SUCH A WIMP... CANT EVEN TAKE A LITTLE HEAT IN THE WATER.."(11th time)...( excuse mi... i am soaking my feet in semi boiling water.. err.. do u jus put ur hands inside boiling water?) OMG... WE ARE GETTING TO THE EXCITING PART.. *SADISTIC LAUGHTER* i asked my mum how long muz i soak my feet in the water... MY DAD HEARD WRONGLY.. AND TOT TT I WAS TELLING HIM OFF TT HE CANNOT REPAIR THE PHONE...(12th time) "U SO "LI HAI" U COME AND REPAIR THE PHONE" (err.. i wasnt speaking to u.. and can u please stfu if u dont listen properly?) at last.. he gave up.. he failed to repair the phone... SO HE CAME AND VENT HIS ANGER ON MI..." Y U NV OFF THE COMPUTER WHEN U ARE WATCHING THE TV?" (err.. i was waiting for u to finish fixing the phone so tt i can once again use the computer... who will wan to use the computer without internet connection?) (13th time) HE SAES " I REALI REGRET GETTING U THIS NEW COMPUTER" FROM THEN... I WAS ON A CURFEW... i cannot use the com over 12am.. cannot use the TV over 12am... so wad can i do other than slp?... well... I MUZ REALI THANK GOD TT THIS IS A PERFECTLY NORMAL DAE TT I AM GOING THRU COMPARED TO THE OTHER DAES.. everynite when i close my eyes.. i can see u going to him... i reali wan u to be by my side always.. everytime when i wan to sleep... ITS THE PEACE TT DRIVES MI CRAZY..." when am i going to be scolded next?" i am nt trying to be a paranoid.. but jus put urself in my shoes for a moment... if u are like tt... getting scolded every moment.. will u wan to live? its jus like a feeling of waiting for death to come to u.. anyway i got nth in this world for mi to hold on anymore.. well... some ppl are jus complaining tt they cannot take the stress.. how bout mi? how bout ppl tt are far worst than mi? well... i reali hope tt u are happy with him... cause u are my onli hope for living in this wretched world....

I am truly sry.. i reali dont noe wad to sae...

2005-04-29T09:54:00.000-07:00

Well... everything has been going bad for mi this whole week... firstly... when i go out.. i dropped my money... 10 dollars jus fly off like tt.. zZz... nvmZ... next fall sick with cough, fever, flu, stomachache and headache... well... to be more terrible... i lost my anger on my friend.. well.. i jus wan to let u noe tt i do nt take all the above as an excuse to y i lose my temper... i always regret wad i do... well.. i truly now... is jus tt i feel so helpless now.. i still wan to be friends with u.. but i dont noe wad to do exactly.. i will resolve the matters myself.. i noe u are having a heavy work stress.. i dont mean to blame u or anything.. if there is anything tt i can do make u better.. i am sure to do it.. do nt give up on urself.. cause we hav nv given up on u in the first place... i noe even if i said a million sry also no use.. but i reali wan to continue this friendship with u...i dont tink i can ever fall asleep in peace or laugh again...

Omg... cant believe that i am here the second time.. lolx..

2005-04-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

Haha... cant believe tt i one dae can blog twice... well... nth happened... between this period of time.. jus tt friendster suddenly down.. then i also dont noe wad to do.. so come here and blog lor.. URGENT.. read this plz.. some1 plz save mi.. i need more help with this thing... i cannot add ppl to my link.. then when i try to look at other ppl's blog.. also cannot.. saes wad " install activeX before continuing " then my com prompt mi nt to install active X cause it may be a trojan virus.. so wad the hell i need to do sia?? somemore other ppl got all sorts of cool cool music one.. my one is jus like plain and empty spaces everywhere... OMG.. somebody save mi!!! - remy zero- save me.... zZz... so xing ku sia.. cannot even play bball properly... zZz... run for 2 matches onli panting like an idoit down there.. hope i can recover fast fast... hehe(^_^) mum finally found a job... looks like i wil be home alone again... zZz... no one to cook dinner for mi anymore.. sianzsation.. argh... ""mummy".. can u cook for mi???" i guess "mummy" also dun noe how to cook lahz.. haha..."mummy" cant even cook.. how mi and ur granddaughter surivive??? hiaz... die le lahz... miss u.. (^_^)

SicK... reali sick

2005-04-25T23:24:00.000-07:00

Argh... being sick is so sick and sian.. i hate being sick.. but nvm.. i dont care anymore... even if i die.. also nobody will care... hiaz... it will eventually heal one lahz... zZz... cough, flu, fever, lack of sleep... hiaz.. so xing ku.. i also dont noe wad to do... maybe later go and play bball i will feel better ba... exercise keeps the blood circulating... haha.. sometimes at home too long u will become crazy jus like mi... feelings all stored inside of mi tt i dont noe wad to sae at all... <-- this absolutely drives u crazy... all methods i hav tried... shouting to the wall.. writing it on a piece of paper and throw it out of the window.. if i continue this.. i will get caught by the police already ba... i hav no one to express to... hopefully.. i will find a friend tt will understand mi when i jus hint him??? hiaz.. but i dont tink tt this is possible in the first place... some things are jus meant for mi to solve for myself.. cannot always depend on the others... i always believed tt obstacles are there to make u stronger dae by dae... if nt.. u are jus like a butterfly with wings but cannot fly...( i will 4ever ur words Mdm Tan G.K... u are like a parent to mi..) i shall end here lahz.. i also dont noe wad to sae already.. everybody is either working or schooling... while i am jus slacking at home.. doing nth resourceful... jus let the time pass ba... even though u hav hurt mi so much.. but u will always hav a place in my heart and i will miss u...

Hiaz... Lazy to blog at friendster.. so its here.. haha...

2005-04-11T00:34:00.000-07:00

Well.. i am nt myself todae... yesterdae play with zeyi DOTA until todae morning 5am.. and slept at 7am.. lolx... my mother was so angry cause i woke her up in her sleep with my laughter... haha.. well.. wad to do? i was dreaming ma.. haha... well.. the dream is a secret.. *teeehhehehee* haha.. woke up half dead.. and now it is going to rain.. so sian.. the TP enrolment form is still nt complete... SianZzZ.. how to complete when they hav stupid stuff like ---> Father's employer's name and address... OMG.. haha.. but once again... THE WORLD IS FAIR!! lolx... haha.. i am sure someone out there will halp mi... hiaz.. going down to TP to submit everything ba.. so at least we noe wad we are short of.. lolx.. waiting for him to come.. so boring sia.. got nth to do... (well.. i also dont noe y i keep saeing boring but i dont wan to go out).. lolx.. bad habit ba.. haha.. The weather is so nice.. feel like sleeping again... lolx... hiaz.... well.. got nth to sae le.. exactly... sometimes talking too much is a crime.. so i shuld keep to myself more often.. somemore i got a walking, living blog le.. haha... v v v good one... but sometimes offline.. haha.. so bo bian.. muz depend on this one... haha.. hiaz.. u hav hurt mi so much... the first time anyone has hurt mi so much in my entire life... jus let the time past and let mi forget u... u will nv ever be able to heal the scars in my heart tt u hav inflicted on mi...

SiAnZsAt|oN.........

2005-04-01T10:21:00.000-08:00

Wah!!!... friendster also got this le mehz... wah kaoz.. so troublesome sia... haha.. i do hav a blog.. jus nt good enuff to hao lian.. sorri guys... i am stupid in this kinda of thingy... woot... but i will try my best to blog... although it sounds like a gal stuff to blog sia... oops... i keep saeing 'sia' todae... and i abit "grouchy" todae... cannot seem to log into MSN!!! Argh.... stupid man.... hiaz.. i hav been trying like 4 hours but to no avail... hiaz... well... if u cant beat it... join it then.. compromise with it... hiaz.. well.. at least maxonline change to 2000kps todae... but i dont see any difference at all.... hiaz... attempting to use ARES todae but still dont dare... cause i still scared tt i will be caught... hiaz... well... no pain, no gain... but there too many songs i still wan... help guys.. plz rescue mi!!! zZz.... "Monty Python - Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" hiaz.. well... u dont wan to get raid by the police rite?? haha... well....... todae go back to the sch to vote for the alumni thingy... hiaz.. but instead.. it is a complete waste of time.. hiaz... then after tt we all go and watch movie lor.. go and watch "the eye 10" hiaz... the show is quite ok lahz.. nt scary.. quite humorous... lolx... but dont noe y some ppl keep mumbling abt the show being nt scary and still dont dare to walk home alone... lolx... oops.... who's tt?? omg... lolx.. i dont noe... maybe i was wrong??? mr big, brave, couragous, hao lian and strong guy dont even dare to walk home after watching the movie? hiaz... plz man... take a look in the mirror.. and let mi tell u something... ppl are reali desperate when they are poor... nv return change to ppl and then still sae wan to take cab home.. then in the end i paid 2 bucks and fred paid 1.50.. the cab fare was onli 4 bucks... well... do ur maths.. and u will find out the ans... hiaz... i tink i will stop here ba.... reali boring to the max ar.......... worries for a friend also... and enable to contact her also... zZz... hope tt she is alrite tomolo... (^_^) going to sleep soon le ba.. if nt cannot wake up tomolo....

Jus Nth To Do... GoT mY nEw CoM rEcEntLy!

2005-03-07T07:49:00.000-08:00

Hahaha... here to put another post.. these few daes are getting boring at home! zZz.. so i decide to post up another post.. lolx... sorri to update this blog very little times.. (it's jus because i still dont noe how to blog..) hope someone teach mi!(^_^)... haha.. jus got my new com recently.. no more slow dl.. haha.. at long last.. (record last time was taking 15 minutes b4 i can connect to the bl**** internet..(sorri for tt vulgar word there... jus wan to express my feelings)now.. its jus a click away... WeEeEEeEEee... hiaz.. todae went out with lots of ppl! 6 to be exact(not including mi)hiaz... i still seriously believe tt this world is FAIR!!!(<--- new quote... no need to retire le... i am feeling younger!) haha... u noe who should noe wad i am talking about ok?)reali enjoyed my dae with hui ting, yi long, zhi jian, shilei, debbie(da zhi(^_^)kekeke.. i am so bad... plz refer to above...line 10 to 11 plz..),wen jun(sorri? did i spell it correctly?)and eileen.... of course got mi also lahz.. haha... went to v8 to eat... haha... the food was so miserable.. but for the sake of all... i had to compromise.. (^_^) but in the end was still full.. drank 8 glasses of water<--- daily amount tt one should drink everydae... high tide afterwards... lan ren shi niao duo... hiaz.. moreover.. reali enjoyed my dae to day!!! haha... so happy... although today i abit KL... but i still tink i am ok with it(<--- nt enuff sleep) THE WORLD IS FAIR!!! next i will wish to pay respect to my half dead pooh at home... he cannot take the fact tt his value was a mere discount item and commited sucide by breaking off my phone.. resting at my house... hiaz.... so sad... let's nt sidetrack.... today i also found out tt in a crowded mrt... nv stand in front of the door... or to be exact.. nv in the middle of the doorway... cause u will be the centre traffic of all who tries to come in and out..and also.. i found out tt it is quite rude to stare...zZz... post more next time.. when someone else ask mi to do so.. hahaha!

HiAz.. YeT aNoThEr BoRiNg DaE...

2004-12-06T04:13:00.000-08:00

As i said... i will be here onli when i got nth to do at all... anyway.. i desperately need some help with my amaths... plz..anyone out there.. this is extremely tormenting....! haha... being stuck at the same chapter... hiaz... today went to extend my passport... so tt i can go to malaysia... then do u noe wad tt sick attendant said??? "can i plz have ur mother's ic? cause u are not 16 yet..." OMG... i tell u... after christmas... i will defintely buy a tag like the teachers and wear my IC around my neck... zZz... and if anyone can ask mi how old i am... haha.. then i can watch nc16... stupid man... still cannot watch blade trinity... comes out on the 8 december... hiaz... faster come ba.. my birthday... 13 more days and counting... haha.. countdown... hiaz... haha... oWe Mi PrEsEnTs... FiNaLlY mY tUrN lE... hAhA....

HiAz... So BoRiNg SiA...

2004-12-05T06:26:00.000-08:00

Hiaz... yet another boring day... tt's y u will see mi posting an entry.. if not u will not...haha... one significant and proud thing tt i can sae is tt i bought an mp3 player.. tt's all... trying to slog for pure bio and amaths together.. going crazy now... (now i noe how the 4/3 and 4/2 ppl feels) haha... but at least they got teacher rite? this total sux man.... cannot look for a job.. cause of the pathethic reason tt i am not 16 years old.. come on man... i existed on the planet 16 years already... jus a few more days.. can;t u allow it..and somemore with the sacastic remark " i am sorry but we cannot hire u... young ppl like u should jus stay at home and rest till u are 16 b4 u get a job" omg... wad a loser he is.... then i almost wanted to sae.. excuse mi... u are smaller in size than a 15 year old kid... isnt it time u should take ur vitamins??? haha... revenge is sweet.. haha.. jkjk... nvmZ... going off and heading towards penang during the 13th night... hiaz.. long ride there and reach there in the 14th morning..feeling like a pathetic jelly... jelly legs... jelly hands and a terrible headache.. y can't we jus take a aeorplane? miss the airport... MuHaHaHa... nv take plane after my mother lost the job... zZz.. no choice... economic slowdown and very very bad...trying to save some bread and so here we go... ---> the coach... sianZ... there i am the eldest... Muhahahaha... but sad thing is... i got a ELDER baby brother there... sianZ... is my my uncle's son... but nvmZ... but there also quite sianZ le... no computer... nobody has a decent hand phone there... and the television do not have decent english channel... so tt place is for u to get away from stress and rot at the same time.. haha... eat, sleep, toilet and play... but actually nothing to play lor... toys??? sianZ... watch VCD over and over again... sianZ... but there not bad lahz... at least i will be rich there.. haha.. everything there's so cheap.. and i get to buy wad i like there... haha... back on the 24th morning... further plans for christmas... ShhHHHh!! to those who noe.. haha... then after tt there goes my birthday and perharps i will go hunting for a job bahZ...

zZz... its finally over already u noe?

2004-11-22T13:28:00.000-08:00

Wahahaha.. it's finally over.. haha... well... i will like to celebrate... this long waiting... i have waited four years for this dae to come... although i am happy.. but it suddenly felt tt time is passing very very slowly... jus like todae's design and technology paper... dont even noe y.. i completed tt stupid paper in 1 and half hours time... and tt stupid paper have a duration of 2 hours and 30 minutes.. oh my gawd.. can u believe tt? then in the end.. i cannot fall asleep.. not like siu hong.. so fortunate.. after he finish the paper straight away can sleep already... zZz... end up staring at the ceiling and doing nothing... drawing on my question paper... but time jus seems to be passing on so slowly... every second on the clock ticks in my heart... counting down the moment tt i have been anticipating for four years already... now tt it is finally over... i dont noe wad to do now... my plans are perharps jus study on.. those subjects tt i had not learn b4... haha... well... all those tt have read my blog... can i appeal tt u give mi ur unwanted textbooks... cause my dad collecting them for a friend who cannot afford to pay of the textbooks cause the father, the sole breadwinner of the family has passed away.. as for amaths textbook.. i myself need lahz... haha.(^_^) well.. the next few months reali dont noe wad to do... i reali miss does school daes.. where u jus need to come to school.. can talk to frenz and so on.. then when go home... jus do some homework and wait for the next dae to come... in a blink of an eye.. it has already been four years.. WoW... i have made plently of frenz in the school.. haha.. hope to remain in contact even though we all are seperated to differnet Jc and polytechnic... i hope tt everyone can cherish their friendships that they had for the past 4 years... haha... secondary school life will be a part of ur memory in ur life.. whether u wan it or not... haha... hiaz... end here bahZ.. so naggy for wad...zZz..

zZz.. when is it going to end...

2004-11-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

Hiaz.. wad a boring day.. boring till the extend tt i must write this.. i got absolutely nothing to do at all... zZz... do principal of accounts... do 20 sums.. get none of them correct.. this feeling absolutely sux man!! zZz.. feel like sleeping all day long... hiaz.. the weather is so good... rain and sometimes shine... jus feel like doing nothing.. well.. tt is wad i am goin to do after the o's.. jus sit down there and do nothing.. perharps watch the clouds in the sky move and relax... hiaz.. this is wad i call life... haha.. well... the o's are still not completed yet.. but fortunately... my eyes are at last focusing at the bottom of the entry proof... its coming to an end of all the exams... haha... all our 4 years of hard work is going to pay off soon.. haha... about my exams.. i dont exactly have any comments... jus quite pathetic lor... haha... looking forward to the things tt i can do after the exams... hope i am not quite ambitious.. but i hope to score below 10 for L1R4.. haha... so tt i can go into either electronics or mechatronics course in temasek polytechnic... haha... this is probably my ambition bahz... cause from my point of view... being an engineer is one of the jobs tt has a high pay.. which i hope to obtain.. is not tt i am materialistic.. but i tink tt is a very good job for mi and i like it... furthermore.. the pay also attracts mi lahz..(^_^) haha... zZz.. so boring.... hope the days past quickly... so tt all will not have to suffer so much.. as for those tt tink tt had not done up to their actual standard.. i sincerly hope tt u will still be able to get the grades tt u wan.. Zzz..

2004-09-29T02:04:00.000-07:00

OnLi LoVe AnD f|gHt FoR uR sElF.. ThAt |s WhEn U cAn Be TrUlY sTrOnG...

MiSs ThE hApPy DaYs....

2004-09-29T01:45:00.000-07:00

Haiz... at last... exams are going to end already.. haha.. i very the happy... left with d and t onli.. hiaz.. accidentally deleted my old blog.. still muz write new one.. sianz..well nvm... haha... today actually went down to fengshan community club... so boring.. so decided to go and play lan... how i noe one crazy gal from our school come and bloody bite my hand when i was playing.. wahz.. so pain.. although i nv say anything lahz.. but it's DAMN painful... stupid gal... one more time i tell u... i swear that i am going to let her eat my sandwich... MY KNUCKLE SANDWICH.... stupid gal... wahz... i feel like tearing her apart... bite mi for nothing onli.. but nvm.. wad is already done is already done.. perharps i should jus forgive her... lolx.. am i stupid or wad? nvm... always forgive and forget and look forward to a new day each... jus like looking out for new hope to become like last time once again... i reali miss the happy days... can u tell mi y it is happening like that... furthermore... ppl around mi going to disappear already.. one by one... jus like that... for 6 years... jus reali sincerly hope that she can reali reali reali celebrate my birthday b4 she goes off.... and god bless those tt are disappointed with their results and help them to stand up again.. for a better tomolo and for the final o's....